nightnewspecial:

Best way to wake up

Your parents were gonna go stay at their friends house on the lake for the weekend, and you had the place to yourself. Your mom even winked at you on the way out when she said: if you want to have some of your college buddies over, just clean up after yourselves.

Ugh, was she suggesting a literal pity party cause you didn’t have a huge group of friends? Your goal at college wasn’t to party, it was to study and graduate early. Yet your mom seemed to be under the impression you struggled at your social life, probably because all your friends just so happened to be guys. Oh, you realize, she probably thinks you’ll throw a party to hook up with some chick. Ugh. That was worse. Supervising a party of fratbros and sorority sisters and trying to prevent them from destroying your parents’ house was not your idea of a fun weekend.

But you did have an inkling of what could be a fun weekend. You just had to call Joseph. “Hey, my parents are out of town for the weekend. Wanna come fuck over here for once? We can be as loud as we want… and there’s a pool.”
Joseph didn’t need to think twice. “I’ll pack an overnight bag. I was hoping you’d call man. Been needing a fuck, man.”
“Glad to hear that. Missin’ your tight body something fierce. We’ve been studying so hard, this weekend we reward ourselves.”

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Captions are fictional. Let’s see how fast Tumblr nukes this post.