Tips on baking a cake? Because I can’t follow simple instructions on a cardboard box T.T


Don’t smoke Marijuana while baking a cake. My roommate and her BFF were baking a cake for her husband’s birthday, and they decided to toke up before getting down to the baking. They ended up getting the munchies pretty bad and ate all the batter before it could reach the oven. >.<

LUCKILY, I bought him a $65 bottle of Jack Daniel’s and last minute said it was from the two of us. And then we ordered pizza. 😛

So yeah, don’t do drugs while baking, unless you want to buy alcohol for the person you’re baking for. And order a pizza. Problem solved!

Rick snapped his fingers and summoned his houseboy to the kitchen. His houseboy came bouncing in immediately. “Yes, Richard, what may I do for you?”
“I invited a couple friends for dinner. I want you to make this before you get started on dinner.” Rick pointed to a plastic bag on the counter.
The houseboy fished in it and picked up a box of cake mix. He scoffed, rolling his eyes back into his skull. “You expect me to make cake from a box? Do I look like Betty Crocker to you sweetheart?” He tossed it onto the counter. “Well, the sprinkles are the only redeemable thing in this bag. Honey there is a reason I do the shopping.”
Rick stared at him, speechless at his houseboy’s catty attitude.
“No no…” the houseboy threw open the pantry door. “We need flour, and vanilla, and salt. Baking powder. Oil. Where is the bag of cane sugar? There it is. Oooo and there is the cocoa powder too. Chocolate cake is the best.”
The houseboy organized the items on the counter and went to the fridge. “Oh good we have eggs. You know you don’t really need eggs, but they’re an easy binder, so whatever.”

The houseboy straightened up and caught Rick staring at his bare ass. “Are you going to help me with this or just gawk at my butt?”
“I think I’m going to fuck you against the counter wearing an apron, then I’m going to leave you to your kitchen sorcery. Are you sure it’s not easier to just make it from a box?”
The houseboy huffed. “Don’t insult me. Only an amateur makes dinner from scratch and dessert from a box. The only thing you should ever use from a box in the kitchen is condoms.” He smirked.
Rick grinned. “Yes, I agree with that for sure.”
“You want coconut in this cake?”
“I don’t care, just bend over, I want your ass right goddamn now. I love it when you’re bitchy.”

His houseboy smiled and bent over the counter. “This is step 1 to baking, you know.”
“Good, I’m learning something,” Rick muttered, searching for a condom in the junk drawer and happily finding several. They went through them all by the time they got to frosting the damn thing.

Moral of the story: Have your houseboy or boyfriend bake it. That said, making cake is pretty easy though: mix the dry goods, mix in the wet goods, mix it all, then pop it into the oven. Pre-heat the oven before starting. Stick a toothpick in it when done; a clean one will tell you the inside is cooked.


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