After I posted those pictures of me being collared, I have received a few messages from people who are curious about my relationships with Kevin and what all of this means. I thought it would be fun to write a post about it and illuminate why I’m collared and what that means, as well as who Kevin is in my life.
I’ll jump into the latter part of that first. Kevin is, first and foremost, my friend. We began as friends, our friendship is very close to me, and we will continue to be friends for a long time. Our friendship encompasses the entirety of our relationship, which is to say that him and I connect on a variety of levels. We both find value in strong intellect and the pursuit of knowledge and understanding, we have been there for each other emotionally through some difficult times in the last (almost) year, we both know how to enjoy live and have fun and thrive together in those moments, and we have similar sexual interests that compliment each other very well. These are all building blocks of a strong friendship, and that is what we have together. It is those building blocks that made me want to be collared by Kevin, knowing that I am lucky to have found someone in my life who connected with me so well, who would love me as fiercely as he does, and who would care for my heart like it was something very precious.
While that is why I decided to become collared by Kevin, that is not exactly what the collar represents. The collar is a symbol that Kevin is my Daddy, and I am his boy. This is a dynamic that touches on a number of those connections that I listed above. Most obvious, of course, is sex. Kevin has and will only ever top me, he is the dominant sexual partner in our relationship, and he calls the shots. I, of course, can ask to do things but when push comes to shove, it is Kevin tossing me around and not the other way around. A related factor to that is ownership. While Kevin and I have decided together that it is important for me to maintain my single life, and therefore when we are not together I am free to date and have sex with other people, when we are together I am very much his. I am not allowed to let someone touch me (e.g., grab my ass in a bar), that is a decision that Kevin gets to make, and in fact someone must ask his permission prior to doing so. There is one part of ownership that extends throughout my life, regardless of being with Kevin, and that is he is the only man who is allowed to breed me. That one has taken a lot of discussion, but eventually we did decide that it made sense in our relationship and was something that was important for our dynamic.
There is a third big piece to being collared, as Kevin and I have defined it, and it is a worship of masculinity and mentorship into manhood. As my title will tell you, I don’t see myself as a man yet. To me, manhood comes when a level of confidence is reached, when a person finds their footing in the world and life becomes something you take control of. Boys let life happen to them, and men make life happen. Boys are cocky, men are confident. Kevin has those qualities, and I do not. Part of our Daddy/boy dynamic is leading me into manhood, through hard conversations about life and how to make it mine, through tough workouts that build my body into what I want it to be, not what I’ve settled for, and through those discussions we have on a variety of topics that get my mind thinking and help me find what it is I believe at my core. (Admittedly, I’ve already done much of that and Kevin will be the first to admit, when we are hashing out an idea, I am nothing less than man.)
In the short time that I’ve know him, Kevin has reignited a drive for life that I have not felt in a very long time. It is because of Kevin that I started reading again, that I decided to stop smoking weed, he was there for me recently when my dad was in the hospital for 5 days and we were not sure if he was going to come out, he has inspired me to get back into my gym routine and I have never been more proud of what I see in the mirror… I could go on and on about how much he has done for me. He is exactly the kind of man I have wanted to have in my life, and the kind of man I want to be.
Plus, we have really hot and fun sex 😛
Another great post from another undiscovered non-fiction Tumblr. Show this to anyone who doesn’t understand collaring or the benefits it can have. Too often in our society we expect boys to just “be” men, without any emotional support or leaders to guide them to adulthood.
