“God, he does have insane abs. Come ooonnn Matt, let me steal your new friend. Pleaaaaaaaaaaase? You’re going to bed anyway.”
“Does your brother always do this?” Adam asks.
Matt sighs. “It’s become a habit. This is what happens when you’re the youngest child – you get lazy and spoiled.”
Zach flips Matt off. “Work smarter, not harder. You’re friends with the hottest guys anyway, why should I waste my time at a bar?”
“Not every guy I bring home wants to sleep with another dude,” Matt retorts.
“Yeah but every guy you bring home probably likes blowjobs and wants to be told they’re a hot stud.”
“I do like blowjobs,” Adam admits. “And I could be told I’m an Adonis.”
Matt rolls his eyes and exhales with attitude. “Fine. Adam, if you want to debase yourself by sleeping with this 22 -year-old jizz factory, go ahead.”
“Jizz factory??” Zach screeches.
Adam cracks up with laughter.
“Well I’ve never been so offended.”
“Cause it’s true. It’s definitely true. 
“You were 22 once. Not that long ago, if I recall correctly. How convenient of you to forgot how horny you were then.” Zach puts his hands on his hips.
“I was a sophisticated and discreet horny 22 year old. I didn’t hump, ogle, or leer or any woman that-”
“Sophisticated?” Adam interrupts, still unable to free himself of the giggles. “Who is sophisticated at 22?”
“YEAH.” Zach adds.

Matt folds his arms. “I was mature. Unlike the 12 year old boy I’m arguing with in a 22-year-old’s body. So you’re not denying you hump, ogle, and leer at any male human who walks down the street?”
“Oh pft, no, I definitely do that. Male humans are my favorite kind to look at.”
“Right before you hump their legs?”
Zach blinks. “I’ve never actually done that. Wonder if that’d be hot…”
“Oh dear god, I don’t want to think about it. I’m going to bed. You two play nice and don’t give the pillows any emotional trauma ok?”
“Don’t worry, Matt, if Zach gets out of control I’ll hit him with a newspaper.” 
Matt pats Adam on the back. “I knew I could trust in you to have some sense”
“Hey! So. Rude. Go to bed already, Matt, I need to look at Adam’s dick. He looks hung as heeeeell and it’s distracting.”
Adam holds up his hands in surrender. “Sorry I’m weak to compliments.” 
Matt rubs the bridge of his nose. He is worried about what visions of horror are going to visit his dreams tonight. 

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Captions are fictional.