malemodelsbackstage:

Vlad Blagorodnov & Carl Axelsson

Gene’s thumbs bounce over his phone screen: Thanks for coming with me.
Luke texts back: No problem.
Gene: I’m really scared.
Luke: Broken condoms happen. You did everything right, so don’t worry.
Gene: Thank you. But… I’m also scared I’ll lose you as a friend, you know, if I’m positive.
Luke: Aww…you’re scared you’ll lose me? Even though we just met a few weeks ago?
Gene: Yeah.
Luke: Is this why you’re texting me even though we’re sitting right next to eachother? Because you’re scared?
Gene clears his throat and shifts, eyes never ungluing from the floor: Yeah. I’m scared I’ll start crying.
Luke: Well, I can’t tell. You’re playing it cool.
Gene: Yay being a Broadway actor.
Luke nudges Gene: “It’s going to be ok you know.”
Gene turns his head slightly toward Luke. “I hope so.”

There’s a moment of silence.
Luke: Do you want to fool around when we get home?
Gene hammers out a response: You can think of sex at a time like this??
Luke: I dunno… I’m feeling the urge to live. I feel like if we go on with our lives, it shows we’re not scared.  I don’t let fear control me. It shouldn’t control you either.
Gene: …Huh. I guess that makes sense. A hot bath *would* be nice.
Luke: I’ll stroke you in the water with a washcloth until you cum..
Gene blushes and clears his throat. “You stop that.”
Luke smirks and types: Slow…gentle teasing strokes…the textured terry cloth against your taut flushed skin…water gleans as it trickles down your pink erection…
Gene: oh my fucking god for the love of god, Luke, stop.
Luke: Your moans bouncing off the tile walls…
Gene hits Luke with his knee. Luke laughs as he nearly falls off the chair. Gene snorts too at the comical flail of limbs and finds he isn’t nervous anymore.

A nurse walks into the room. “Genesis Reynolds?”
Gene raises his hand.
“Good luck,” Luke said. “I’ll be waiting.”

And to Gene’s surprise, Luke really does wait. Luke walks him all the way home and into the bath-tub. Up until the moment of the test, Gene had been obsessing over being positive and that disastrous one night stand. But as Luke fulfills that promise with the washcloth, Gene finds his mind completely empty. No fear. No panic. Just acceptance. You can’t change what already is. You just got to move on. You cant let fear control you. You just got to live.

A week later, the test comes back negative. But three months later, it comes back positive. Gene’s stunned. He knows these things take time before you know for sure, but that day came. Luke comes over to talk, but Gene doesn’t even cry. He’s not scared. He shrugs, puts the results in a drawer, and moves on with his life. Tomorrow he’ll make a doctor’s appointment. Tonight, they’ll get dinner and fool around after. Gene doesn’t care. Fear doesn’t control him and he will not let it get in the way of love.

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Captions are fictional. For World’s AIDS Day today.