“Hey baby, how’s Nashville?”
“Humid. And I miss you.”
“I miss you too. How’s your mom?”
“She’s…stable right now. But it’s not good, the doctor’s are saying things like ‘you need to prepare yourself that she might not leave the hospital’.”
I click my tongue. “Oh bearbear, I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
“Me too. When she’s lucid she’s so happy I’m here, so it’s worth it. Miss you so bad though.”
“How so?” I wonder if he can hear me smiling over the phone.
“I miss cuddling with you in bed. I miss chiding you for eating your toast standing up, dropping crumbs on the floor. I miss you falling asleep on me when we watch late night movies. I miss the way you get so hilariously excited when your favorite porn actor announces a new video…”
“Oh come on, you love watching my porn too.”
“Ok ok, a little, but it’s more about the sex than the actual dick owners. But seriously, baby, you know what I miss most?”
“mmm What bearbear?”

“Those morning when you get up before me and go on your jogs. I’m just waking up when you get out of the shower, and if I roll onto your side of the bed I can see your bare ass in the bathroom as you preen in the mirror… I was just layin’ in bed this morning and wishin’ it were true.”
“Aww, really? I find it so sexy that you like to watch me,” I say, my throat a bit tight. “You’re breaking my heart over here. Shit, I wish I could take more time off of work and come visit you in Nashville!”
“Don’t make your boss angry. It’s not your fault you got sick in March and had to use all your days off.”
“I know, I know,” I sigh. “Hey, why don’t I make you some videos so you’re less homesick?”
“Like what?”
“It’s a secret. You’ll find out when you open them.”
“…Any that are not safe for work?”
I snicker. “There miiiight be a couple.”
He groans. “You have no idea how wonderful that would be. Please, just please, make them. …Oh what Tanesha? She is? … Hey love, mom is waking up. I gotta go. Talk to you soon.”
“Ok, I’ll call later. Love you.”
“Love you more. Bye.”
“Bye bearbear.”

The ideas for the videos burbled up instantly, one after the other. There was one I had to make first though. The next morning, I got up early and went on my jog. I took a shower, then made sure I spent plenty of time grooming in front of the mirror naked. I uploaded the video to a privately listed Youtube account and sent it to my lover. When I checked the stats later, I saw it had been viewed 41 times in 24 hours. I made sure to send him more – lots more – of my ass, of my body, of me lifting weights, of me masturbating.

Shortly after I began the project, I suddenly didn’t hear from him for two days until he called. He told me in a tired voice that his mother had passed. They were preparing for the funeral now. He begged me to not stop with the videos, as they were the only thing holding him together and keeping him distracted from deep grief and pain.

I told my boss I had a family emergency, took the Friday off, and flew to Nashville with my GoPro and a black suit packed in my luggage.

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Text is fictional. Not sure of source…probably from Vine.