Posts I guess

I went to stay with my Uncle Jim because my parents were fighting so much. Uncle Jim lived with this guy named Antoine. My parents used to say bad things about them, but I didn’t really understand how they could be right. Uncle Jim and Antoine were incredibly nice people, kept to themselves. I could talk to Uncle Jim about anything when my parents were being scary or mom had too much to drink, even at 3 am, curled up in the bathroom with the phone.

When I moved in, I thought I’d be sleeping on the sofa but it seemed Uncle Jim and Antoine moved into the same room together so I could have the guest room. It looks like they did it a while ago. Maybe they anticipated I’d be coming? I settled in. Got back in school.

One night, about three weeks into my staying there, I was about to go to bed when I realized I’d forgotten to do the problems for math class. Too distracted by a history paper. I’d left my math notebook in my backpack by the front door, so I left my room to go get it. From the hallway, I saw something I thought maybe I shouldn’t have seen.

Antoine was on top of Uncle Jim and kissing him. It wasn’t an accident; it was in a very specific way. They were pressed together in their underwear. Uncle was massaging Antoine’s ass with his hands; Antoine was groaning. I bit my lip, trying not to make even a sound by breathing. I slowly, slowly tip-toed back to my room and closed the door with great care. I could do the problems in the morning before class. I sat down on my bed and thought about what I’d just seen, and then it hit me.

When mom and dad used to call Uncle Jim a “fag”, they weren’t calling him a wuss, they were insulting him for being gay. And Uncle Jim and Antoine hadn’t moved into the same room together, they slept in the same bed already because… “they’re a couple.” I said it out loud. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense – the way they acted together, sat next to each other. How could I have not seen it before? It was so obvious. They were in love, so in love. And they welcomed me here, to live with them. I exhaled slowly. I heard a groan even through my door and turned red.

They thought I was asleep. I should act like I am, not say a word. I got into bed and turned out the light but I didn’t sleep for a long time. I was up thinking about how two men could love each other with the same intensity that my parents hated each other. I had never really thought about how I felt about gay men before.. but when I finally fell asleep at 2 in the morning, I still wanted to stay.

Text is fictional. The men are Nubius and Scorpio – not even kidding – from


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