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maybeinabluemoon:

quizás, quizás, quizás

“I don’t want to go back.”
“I’m sorry?” I ask, sipping my coffee.
“I want to stay here.”
“Here?” I ask, hoping I was understanding his English well enough. “In this rental apartment? There’s better ones in Lisbon…”
“No no, I mean. Here. In this country. In Europe. No one cares that I’m gay here. There’s sun, beautiful beaches…” he looks over his shoulder. “Beautiful men.”
I smile.
“I just had a normal night out last night. Went out on the town. Met a cute guy. Brought him back, had fun… I could never do that back home. Home is just suburbs and conservatives and big box chains…”
“Excuse me, what is ‘suburbs’?”
Allen chuckles. “Housing tracts that all look the same. Good, look at this view. I want this to be my view.”
I notice that Allen’s towel is slipping. “Yes the view is not bad..”
“Do you know anyone who his hiring a web designer?”
I think. “My cousin Antonio might…”
“Great. Put me in touch?”
Allen looks so hopeful, so bright eyed. “I’ll do my best. Now come here, eat your breakfast and  coffee. And take off your towel.”
Allen raises an eyebrow. “My towel hm?”
I smirk. “It’s the European way you know.”

Allen grins and drops his towel. We eat breakfast by the window, and eventually ended up making love again on the bed. I do hope he stays…I could get used to this. Suppressed American men make the best sex partners.

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Captions are fictional.

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“You’re really tense. You’re nervous, maybe a bit scared.”
“Y-yeah.”
Let me tell something – you’re thinking too hard. You’re thinking about the what-ifs, the whys, the maybes. Just think about the now.”
“But-but-”
I slide my hand down over his pectorals, brushing his nipple with my hand. He abruptly stops talking. “I can’t stand it anymore. You’ve been looking at me with this hunger in your eyes for years. You were too young before, barely 16, and I thought it would pass. Lusting after your friend’s older brother must have confused the heck out of you.”
“David-” Adin stammered.
“And I thought those feelings would pass. But look at you, on summer leave from college, and the hunger is still there. I don’t think you really love me. I think there’s just this one unturned stone you need to turn before you go back to college. So let’s turn it.”
He’s quiet again. “Does Brian know?”
“No, he doesn’t. If you want to tell my little brother that you’re gay, or bi, you can do it on your own. This isn’t about him. This is about you.”
“Me,” Adin repeats, sounding a bit distant.
I kiss his shoulder. “Yes. Would you at least, let me wash you?”

Another moment of silence, then he passes the soap over his shoulder. I smile. “Thank you.” I begin washing his back, his shoulders, his arms. I don’t linger too long on his ass, although I want to, and instead scrub every curve of his legs and feet. When I tell him to turn, he does. I start from the top again, moving the soap over his chest. I’m fascinated by how much he’s developed in two years of being at university. He’s turning into a man. There’s even a trace of abs… I watch the soapy water run into the light dusting of hair above his crotch. I move my hand down his stomach, and pause right before.
“Is it ok if I don’t stop?” I whisper.
After a moment, Adin rewards me with the briefest of nods. I smile. “Thank you.” I dip my fingers down, lathering up his fuzz. He makes a sharp inhale, and is watching me intentively. Without making a fuss, I gently hold and wash his cock and his balls, being tender and not squeezing too hard. I’m a bit surprised when Adin’s cock starts hardening before my eyes.
I watch it, fascinated. Then, I hear Adin say in a quaky voice. “You don’t have to stop if you don’t want to.”

Poor boy. He wants it so bad but is just too scared to scream out what he wants. I bet he would love it if I push himed against the wall and fucked his brains out. I bet he always wanted me to be his first. But…baby steps. I tell him thank you again, and wrap my fingers around his cock. It’s cut, and tight and hard. I give him a few practice strokes, and Adin begins to moan right away. I pressed up against him, rubbing my cock against his ass, while I stroke him. Adin’s body feels hot against me. I stroke him more eagerly and he pushes into my hand. I’m glad he can’t see me smiling.

I don’t say a word, as not to disturb his very sensitive moment of need. I just stroke and pet and cup and make it as pleasurable for him as possible. Adin ejaculates without a warning, and it seems to surprise even him. I wring him out, emptying all his backed up cum down the shower drain.

We don’t say much after. We finish washing, and drying up. Adin asks to dry me, and moisturize me, I love every second of it. I tell him not to worry about my erection. That shower was about him. He gives me an adorable smile, and goes to make us lunch.

That evening, Adin texted me. “…Can I come over? I can’t sleep.”
You bet I said yes. I got to wring him out again that night. And this time, he returned the favor.

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Captions are fictional.

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dudes-on-demand:

Konstantin Kamynin

Newest member of THE 1,000 CLUB

Sometimes my friends ask me…how did I know I was gay? That’s a good question. I didn’t really know myself until I was 16. My aunt ran this taco restaurant in Palm Springs, and she got me a job bussing. Paid me under the table. One spring she kept talking about something called a Circuit Party. I thought it was some nerd, tech hang-out. You can’t imagine the shock I felt when I came into work one day, and every man looked like they walked out of an underwear shoot. And some had! My jaw about hit the floor.

My aunt wouldn’t let me leave because they were so busy, so I had to go through the entire night with my boner tucked under my waistband. There was one man though, this foreign guy… he noticed me. A lot. I swear to god, he was flirting with me. He tipped me huge amounts, flashed his buttcheeks at me. I’m sure he thought it was hilarious for him to rifle up some awe-struck teenager bussing glasses in a taco restaurant. I was sure at that time he never thought of me again.

But I thought of him. I got his name from one of the patrons, and of course I Googled him the second I got home. I Googled him a lot. I bought his calendar. I was in love with him for years, until I got my first boyfriend.

No one believes me when I tell them that the Adonis that is Konstantin Kamynin made me realize I was gay. But it’s true. I swear. You know how I know it’s true? I went to his book signing in Los Angeles when I was a freshman in college, and you’d never believe this – but when I told him where I’d seen him before, he remembered. He asked me what I did with the tip money. I told him I used it to buy his calendar, and he laughed. True story. It was a pretty good book too.

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Actually it’s not really a true story, lol. The text is fictional, and Konstantin’s body is unreal. I don’t think he ever put out a book either. Here’s his website.

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My frat brother woke me up at two in the morning.

“Max, wake up! Wake up. Come on, it’s an emergency.”
I flailed. “Wh- what? What’s going on?”
“You need to come downstairs right now. It’s your friend, Gordy.”
“Gordy…?” I asked. “What is he doing here?” He lives two hours away.“
"Oh you’ll see.” I squinted in the light coming in from the hallway. Steve was pale as a sheet.
“Shit, what happened?” I asked, throwing off the sheets. I was glad I decided to wear boxers to bed that night.
“You’re gonna puke,” was all Steve said. I bolted down the hallway and ran down the stairs. When I saw Gordy standing in the entrance way, I gasped. He was covered in blood; one eye was starting to swell shut and his nose was crooked.
“Oh my god,” I said. “Gordy…Gordy what happened sweetheart?”
When Gordy saw me, he began to cry. “Max!”
“Shit.” I walked up to him and embraced him a solid hug, letting him sob on me, not caring about his blood getting on me.  Steve was hanging back on the stairs, with a couple other bros who were curious about the fuss.
“Gordy who did this to you?” I asked through clenched teeth. I felt rage and bile rise in my throat.
His voice kept hitching from his fit and it was hard for him to talk clearly. “My – my- my dad, he be-be-eat me up after catching me kissing another guy.”
“Oh Gordy,” I sighed, rocking him. Gordy had been out to me for years. I’d always been somewhat worried how his father would take it when he found out, and I was furious that my premonition was right. I was seeing spots in front of my eyes from how angry I was.
“Is the other boy alright?”
“Yes.”
Did you drive all the way here…?” I asked.
“Yes,” he hiccuped. “I stole my dad’s car. Mine died a while ago.”
“Good god. Ok, let’s get you to the hospital, Gordy.”
“No,” he whimpered.
“You’re hurt and…jesus, I think your finger is jammed or broken or something.”
Gordy glanced at it, then looked up at me. “No, I want to go to sleep with you. Don’t leave me alone please.”
“Shh shh. I’m not,” I whispered. “We’re going to the hospital, then you can come back here with me.”
Steve piped up. “It’s totally cool if he stays here.”
“Thanks man.”

I got my keys and my wallet and my flip flops. Steve gave me his shirt. I walked Gordy to his dad’s car and put him in the passenger seat. There was blood all over the place, but I didn’t even care.

The emergency staff were horrified to hear what happened. They called the police and we filed a report. I mentioned how the car was “borrowed” and we’d be returning it in the morning so we could get Gordy’s things from the house. I asked the police officer not to his arrest his father until that was settled, and the Detective graciously said she’d work with us. The doctors set Gordy’s nose, braced his finger, and cleaned up the blood. We slept together in bed that night, him pressed against me, my arms around his trembling form. It took a while for the white anger to fade enough so I could sleep.

The next day, after breakfast, we drove back to Fishers to return the car. Steve drove my truck down behind us, it’s bed full of empty boxes we scrounged up under a tarp. The plan was for us to all carpool back. Gordy was quiet most of the trip. His bruises had darkened over night and he looked terrible. I held his hand when he seemed to need it most. Gordy and I had grown up together, best friends. He was a year younger than I was. I went off to university and he stayed local to earn money as his family was not well off. I hadn’t expected for us to see each-other again like this though, and I was not happy.

When we pulled up to his father’s house. I told Gordy to wait in the car. I waited until Steve pulled up, then I got out and walked over to tell him the same thing. I then went into the trunk and got the shotgun out of the back.

Steve saw it first, and yelled at me to put it away, but I told him to sit his ass down. Gordy was staring at me with wide eyes from his dad’s car.

I knocked politely on the door, and waited until his father answered.
“Oh it’s you, you faggot piece of shit that corrupted my son. What do you want with that? Gonna beat me up with it? I bet you don’t even know what to do with it. Here’s a hint. You don’t stick your dick in the hole.”
“Thanks for the tip.” I cocked the trigger and shot him in the leg. Behind me, Steve screamed. Gordy’s father collapsed to the floor, baying like a wounded dog. The bullet had lodged right above his kneecap. I kicked him aside, then turned around. “Alright, Steve, bring the boxes in. Get Gordy. Pack his stuff and any photo albums he wants to keep.”

Gordy got out of the car and threw up. He looked better afterwards. I dragged his father in to the living room and sat there with my gun trained on him while Steve and Gordy wordlessly packed up his belongings. His father was still making a terrible amount of noises, crying and cussing at me. Adrenaline and hatred suppressed any guilt or fear I felt. No one hurt my Gordy. Absolutely not, and especially not for kissing a boy. Not on God’s green earth. I had to resist shooting him again, and settled to just telling him to “shut the fuck up, pussy”.

I waited patiently, singing folk songs under my breath as the boys packed. Boxes came down first, then full laundry baskets, followed by bags. Gordy rescued his favorite mug from the kitchen, and a picture of his deceased mother from the living room only mere feet from where his father had been rendered immobile. They raided the coat closet and the basement, and within an hour, Gordy’s presence had been erased from the house. I whistled happily as it all went along.

Steve called my name.
“Yeah?”
He drank from a water bottle he found in the fridge. “We’re ready.”
“That’s everything? Bathroom, closets, cabinets, etc?”
He nodded. “Gordy is fitting the last of it in the truck. It’s gonna be a tight fit. Good thing you got a truck. Boy has a lot of stuff.”
I chuckled. “Yeah I figured. Not a lot of furniture though right?”
“Nah, just a lamp he liked.”

“Alright. Bring me his dad’s car keys would ya?”
Steve did. He threw them to me, and I caught them with one hand. I looked down at Gordy’s father, who was staring at me with utter hatred from a fetal position. I threw the keys onto his ground. “Here’s your car back. Sorry it’s got some blood in it, but that’s your fault. Listen to me. You ever come near Gordy again, I will aim for your head. Got it?”
His father spit at me.
I cocked the gun and shot him in the ass. The howls began again. “You know, Mr. Miller, being gay really isn’t all that bad. Having a little soreness in the ass is actually pretty nice.” With that, I collected the shell casings and left the house.

Once back by my truck, I called the police department back home. “Detective Mitchell? This is Max Tucker. Yeah it’s about Gordy. You can arrest his father now, but you’re gonna have to do it from a hospital.” I then hung up and called 911. I didn’t stay on the line like they asked.

By the time the ambulance arrived, we were gone. Three of us, crammed into the cab of my truck, the empty shotgun in the back. No one said a word, but Gordy cried on me the whole way home. It was a long drive back to the university, and my entire body ached from the tension and adrenaline mixing with testosterone in my veins. I drank my water and kept silent too, thinking about my actions. I did not regret what I had done to his father. I vowed to never again let Gordy stray far by my side, and that was a vow I kept.

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Text is fictional. The model is Evan Peters. This story in no way intends to depict Evan Peters or make projections on his personality or sexuality.

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The beach is supposed to be relaxing. No noises, no distractions. Nothing to do except swim and bask in the sun, which we were doing now after having gorged on a big lunch. We rested next to eachother, sharing my enormous towel, listening to the waves lap at the shore. Sometimes a gull would careen overhead, cawing. Perfect calm. There weren’t even that many children out here on a weekday.

I wasn’t relaxed. I couldn’t stop thinking about how close we were out here on this vast beach with plenty of room. A foot maybe. Less, possibly. I was thinking of the way my sister gave me a suspicious look when I told her I was going to the beach with David. “One of your guy dates huh?”
“What do you mean by that?” I said accusingly.
“You just spend a lot of time with him, that’s all.”
Yeah, that was true. Every time I wanted to go somewhere, David was the first person I called. Or he called me. We were bros. Perhaps not just bros… my time with David had helped me realize something about myself though. I wondered how many people “knew” and was waiting for me to find out about myself. I wondered if David knew or had guessed.

“Hey um. David?” I asked, my voice unsteady.
“Yeah?”
“Can I tell you something personal?”
David turned his head toward me. I could see his deep green eyes staring curiously at me through the brown-pink glass of his sunglasses lenses. “What’s up bro?”
The knot in my stomach was so tight I almost couldn’t find the courage to get the words out. “David I …I’m gay,” I said softly. “I wanted to tell you first.”
David’s jaw fell slack. He kind of stared at me, digesting this, as I held my breath. I could not handle rejection and felt rising anxiety as I waited to find out if I was going lose my best friend.
“You are?” he said after a moment. “You’re gay?”
“Yes,” I said firmly. “Girls never did it for me. I just had to sit and think about it for a while…it was um. Obvious.”
“Oh,” David said, turning his face up to the sun again. My heart began to ache, and I feared it was about to be broken. I never took my eyes off of him. I watched his chest rise and fall, his breathing a bit rapid.
Minutes passed.

“David?” I said, my voice barely a squeak. “Please say something.”
David exhaled slowly. “Sorry I just…needed to think. You’re gay. Ok that’s… that’s fine. It’s good.”
“That’s good?” I repeated, unsure if there was sand in my ears or something.
“Yeah,” he said with that casual little smile of his. “That’s very good.”

“Ok,” I said, dizzy with relief. “Good.”

A moment later, I felt David’s hand bump against mine. I wasn’t sure was he was doing until he worked his fingers between mine and squeezed. I squeezed back, letting him tether me. I felt like a huge weight had lifted off of me. Without his grip, I might have just floated away.

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Text is fictional. Apparently today is Coming Out Day or something, so I wanted to do something appropriate.