“Good lord, he’s struggling to get out. He’s nearly frothing at the mouth.”
“It’s kind of entertaining isn’t it? He’s stuck. All he’s doing is exhausting himself, which does us more of a favor.”
“Indeed. Justice is pretty delicious. Are you sure it’s him?”
“Absolutely. The tattoo on his shoulder doesn’t lie.” I point to it.
“Oh, indeed. That’s the one on the flier the neighborhood watch put in our mailbox. Have you called the police?”
“Not yet. I’m enjoying letting our little thief realize how fucked he is,” I chuckle. “He’s hit his last house, I’ll say.”
My partner yawns. “Indeed. Did you hear him come in, love? I didn’t hear anything.” 
“Oh, our pup woke me up. He’s gonna get a big steak in the morning.”
“Lucky pup! ..Say, where are his clothes?”
“Oh, in that bag over there. You know, for evidence. I suppose I should go call the cops now, I want to get some more sleep in.”
“Mnn you do that love. I’m going back to bed. See you there.”
I give him a kiss on the cheek. “Sleep well, sweetheart.”

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Text is fictional. Watermarked.