egorodriguez:

Theo sighed and picked up the phone. “This better be work related.”
“It’s not. I want your dick,” Mike announced.
“I’m on shift right now. I’m investigating a case. I’m actually waiting to hear from an informant right now.”
“Theo, you and I both know that at this time of night, the Paseidies are not going to do anything worth reporting on. They’re a diurnal species – what the heck could your informant tell you at this time of night?”
“The informant isn’t a Paseidies. He has other stuff going on. Listen, I’m not coming over to fuck you. Aren’t any of your family up playing cards or watching movies or whatever they do on the holidays.”
Mike snorted. “At this house? And this hour? They’re all asleep. That’s why I’m bored and I’m horny.”
“Use Grindr.”
Mike groaned. “You’re so infuriating.”
“You’re so immature.”
“You don’t complain when you fuck me.”
“Cause you’re a good lay,” Theo admitted. “But not right now. Go play with a dildo.”

The waitress standing next to his table gave Theo a funny look. “Um. More coffee?”
Theo felt warm under the collar and avoided looking up at her. “Yeah. Thank you.”
“Theeeeooo~”
“I’m hanging up, Mike. I owe you a rain check.” Theo disconnected the call.

Theo leaned back in his seat and sipped his fresh coffee. Would he rather have a different heat warming his palm right now? Yes. Would he rather be steaming up car windows instead of being in this cafe? A million times yes. Anything to take his mind off this case. This case, which was not going anywhere but yet taking up all his time. Theo’s gaze drifted out the window; he tried not to think about how little sex he’d been getting lately. At least this was good coffee.

The phone startled him. Theo set down his drink and snatched it up. “Gardner.”
“There’s a delivery coming Friday at 9. You’re gonna want to see who is there. Warehouse 864, near the Chevron building.”
Theo scrambled to write this down. “9 am I’m guessing? And is it coming by truck, by boat?”
“9 am yeah. That’s all I got. Go to go.”
“You can’t meet up?” Theo asked.
“No, I can’t,” the informant replied.
“Where are you off to in a hurry?”
“I got a match on Grindr. Can you believe it? At this time of night!”

The realization set in. Theo pinched the bridge of his nose. “Oh you have to be fucking kidding me.”
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Captions are fictional.