First of all, you are to be commended for your devotion, your desire to grow and accept your place is powerful. Never doubt how this desire and understanding can truly give you the ability to change everything in your life.
I would say that the most important thing to remember is to be patient in this. You are breaking some very strong chains and cultural conditioning, and that doesn’t happen easily or quickly, but with patient endurance and daily effort, the chains will break and you will be free to be what you were born to be.
Now, some thoughts.
First of all, when working your ass pussy, try as much as possible to make your dick as irrelevant as possible. I find that wearing a jockstrap does a great deal in this regard. It keeps my meaningless dick hidden and that can help to keep it out of my thoughts.
Also, remember that one of the cultural conditioning aspects you are challenging is what an “orgasm” will be for you. For years, decades, you have defined an “orgasm” or “cumming” as the intense sensation and release which is connected to ejaculation from your dick. You are slowly reconditioning your body to experience a different form of “orgasm,” not the intense release, but the waves of pleasure which come from stimulating your ass pussy.
Allow yourself to feel that sensation, to experience it and, as you do so, consciously acknowledge that you are “cumming.” The more you do this, the more your body and mind will work together to give you that sense of “fulfillment” and “completion” that an ejaculatory orgasm used to give you. Eventually, you will stop thinking of “orgasm” as the end of the sexual act, and in this you will be open to multiple orgasms as you work your ass pussy.
At the beginning, you will find yourself needing to ejaculate to elevate the frustration that your cultural conditioning has imposed on you. A part of you will think that you haven’t finished yet, because you did not ejaculate. This will pass eventually, but in the meantime, if you absolutely must ejaculate, then only work your dick enough to bring this about, do it as quickly as possible and only working the head or gland of your dick, much as a clit would be worked. Even while doing this, remain focused on the sensation of your ass pussy. That is where your orgasms will come from.
In addition, while you are working on your ass pussy, imagine in your mind’s eye, the Alpha. Stay focused on His Cock, because that is all that matters at that moment. Imagine His Cock as it enters you, fills you. Focus on His connection to His Cock, and the pleasure His Cock give to Him as it fills you, as your ass pussy opens itself to His Cock.
Imagine His face, how His body responds to using your ass cunt. Keep in mind that this is not “sex,” but His power and dominance. Remember how His Cock, using your ass cunt, makes Him great, more powerful, more a Man.
As the sensations in your ass cunt grow, focus on the only orgasm which matters, which is His. Let your body and ass respond as you imagine Him cumming, shooting, feeling that intense release and amazing orgasmic joy which is His right as an Alpha. Soon, and with practice, you will feel the waves of an anal orgasm by imagining His powerful orgasm, a Real Man’s orgasm. In this, you will know that your orgasm don’t matter as much as His, and your body is at His service.
Keep working at it, don’t let the frustration get you down. You are on the right path, and you are breaking major chains, and reconditioning your mind and body after many, many years. But you are doing what you must and that is commendable.
Keep me informed, please, about your progress. We can all learn together.
Well, there’s this. Good learning guide for boys who feel this way.
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