I was eating cherries and there was this one that looked like a penis. The first thing I thought of was you. This is the impression you have left on me. Are you proud of yourself? I can’t eat cherries without wondering if you’ve updated. Anyways, love your writing. Cheers

Hello. I am incredibly pleased because my Tumblr icon is a cherry shaped like a heart. If you’re constantly wondering when I’m going to update, that means my subliminal marketing is working mwuahaha – er, I mean, so happy to hear you’re thinking of my captions. Yes. If you still have said penis cherry, take a picture, submit it, and I’ll post it.