“I’m hooome.” I close the door behind me and shuck off my shoes. Nothing. “Jude? Is anyone home?” I call out, setting down my briefcase and loosening my tie. The car is in the driveway.
Jude sticks his head down the stairwell and then jogs down to give me a welcome-home kiss. “Oh my god I am so glad to seee you, Jesus Christ. Things are insane around here! We went out for food at this bistro after the dentist appointment at 2, but Dominic got food poisoning and so he’s in bed resting and not doing his homework, but Anna has got the crazies and is making a mess up there with her toys. The dog hasn’t been walked, the cockatiel’s cage needs to be cleaned, someone’s been drawing on the bathroom walls again, and I *still* haven’t made dinner. Dominic says he’s not eating ever again, but Anna wants franks and beans but I forgot buy beans and-”

“Woah woah woah!” I laugh, “Slow down, sloow down. Come here. Deep breath.” I kiss him slowly and pull him into a hug. “Breathe.”
“But Anna-”
“Let her destroy the house. Messes can be picked up. Goo-gone and paint will fix the walls. Dominic is resting. We can order pizza. I’ll take care of the pets.”
“Nnng fine.” He nuzzles my neck and clings to me, rocking with me for several moments until the mania passes. “You smell nice. It makes me horny.”
“You bought me this cologne for Christmas.”
“Oh that’s why I bought it,” he chuckles.“
"Are you ok now?” I inquire.
He puffs out his cheeks and exhales. “Yeah, I’ll live. I’m fine. Pizza sounds great, actually.”
“…Jude?”
“Yeah?”
“Where are your clothes?”
“Oh remember how I said Dominic got food poisoning? Yeah he barfed all over me. I never got dressed.”
I shake my head. “Man, makes my day sound dreadfully boring by comparison. I thought I’d top your day with my epic tale of a jammed printer and our boss falling asleep during an important meeting.”

The corners of Jude’s mouth turn up. “Oh I definitely want to hear the epic tale of the printer, you know how I get about toner.”
I laugh and kiss him again, then add in a low voice. “Oh baby, the toner was everywhere.”
“Oh baby.” Jude wiggles his eyebrows at me, plucking at my jacket lapels, making me grin.

“DADDYYYYYYYYY!”
I look up in time to see a 7 year old ball of energy shimmying down the stairs at lighting speed. I barely have enough time to kneel down to catch her before I’m nearly knocked on my ass.
“Hey there sweetie! Daddy tells me you’ve been quite busy today.”
“I built a city! and Dominic puked! It was gross! I built a cities for ponies! Come see Papa come see!”

Jude gestures in Anna’s direction. “You see what I mean? It’s like she had three Redbulls and six cups of coffee.”
“She’s seven. That’s her default status.” I pick her up and set her on my hip. “Go shower and get dressed, love. Go order dinner. I’ll take the kids for a walk with the dog, and when I come back we’ll eat ok? I’ll clean the tiel cage later.”
Jude looks relieved to have someone else in control for once. “I will do exactly that.” He steals another kiss from me. “Thank you.”

“Of course, love.” I start up the stairs then glance over my shoulder as he trails behind me, “Oh and Jude, while you’re in the shower, get really really clean.” I wink.
He lights up and bites his lip. “Promise? It’s been a week.”
“Dadddyyyyyyyyyyy.”
“Alright, we’re going baby. And yes Jude, I promise. You’re gonna feel it for another week after.”

I’m more than pleased to see him blush.

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Text is fictional. Men are Harry Louis and Hugo Martin from Lucas Entertainment, from the series Trapped in the Game. Source is the Lucas blog.