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How’s this for an ass shot? he texts me back.
I reply: …You told me your ass was flat and wasn’t anything special. You lied to me.
HIm: …What? No one ever says my ass is hot and my pants don’t stay up.
Me: I think you’re just not wearing the right pants, cause damn, I’d tap that. You still want me to come over?
Him: Yes! Been on Grindr all night trying to get laid, you have no idea how horny I am.
Me: I’ve been up late playing with myself and thinking how nice it’d be to ride someone hard tonight…you know I have a thing for white boy asses. 
Me: Hey do you have a roommate?
Him: Ah fuck you’re gonna make me hard too.. No why?
Me: There’s so many products on your counter, I thought a girl lived there.
Him: Er. No. Those are all mine. I like to feel nice and I use different scents on different days to go with my mood.
Me: Oh a high maintenance boy are you? Well you pick someone warm and sensual because I want you to smell delicious when I ravish you…
Him: I’m gonna go shower then while I wait. I’ll text you my address. Door is unlocked!

I smile at my phone. Gosh, isn’t he cute. How has no one snapped that cute ass up by now? Mine, all mine.

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Text is fictional.

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I published Sticking the Landing on December 27th, but soon after that I noticed a well-known gay fiction publisher was accepting submissions for an anthology due on February 1st. I decided to go for it.

Well, trying to churn out material from scratch was goddamn hard work. I started three prompts and dropped two. My work schedule went insane because my boss is incompetent and my focus went on the window. Right before the deadline, I emailed the publisher and asked for an extension. She gave me 48 hours. The day of that deadline, I realized my story needed 40% more content to be coherent. I sent her an e-mail, resigning from the applicant pool. To my surprise, she gave me five more days. I went for it.

I submitted it 25 minutes late, at 12:25 am on a Sunday when it was due on Saturday. I have no idea if she’s gonna accept it or not, or if she even likes it. I didn’t have time to do a full beta read and I rushed the sex scenes, so it probably needs a shit ton of editing I didn’t have time to do. What matters now is that it’s over. It’s finally over.

Since January 5th. I’ve written over 30,000 words. This is what I’ve been off doing, and now it’s over. Now, I can focus on getting a non-shitty job and also writing more chapters for Lucien and Milou and Brazos. I also have to get some dental work done, clean my apartment, oh and make dinner… haven’t eaten much today.

Thank you all for your patience. I feel a lot like Buzz in this gifset, especially his face in the last panel.

Oh, and I wrote all of this out but my browser crashed when I went looking for a gif and had to rewrite it. FML.

Best of January 2014

Best of January 2014

Wow, such late. In case some of you missed the posts, my boss at work is a jackass and I’m working an insane amount of hours to make up for his incompetence. I’m looking for a new job, you betcha. *flips a table*

Here were the top 15 original content posts from January:

New Year’s Fuck
Showering for Cash
A Quiet Moment Before the Collaring Ceremony
I Like Big Balls and I Cannot Lie
The Reason My Econ Homework is Not Getting Done
Calm Down, Boy, It’s Ok
Chaste Boys Playing in the Bath
Quint Misbehaves and Gets Locked in Punishment
Finally Getting to Jerk Travis
We Didn’t Make It Upstairs
I’m an Ass Man
Debauchery at the Rave
Submitting to Alpha Men at the Push of a Button
Move In With Me?
A Jiggle for Good Luck

Lastly, if you’re seeking the links to purchase my short story, Sticking the Landing, those can be found here.

We just broke 2400 readers last night, and we’re up to 1,315 posts. Thank you everyone for your readership and support. If you sent me a message recently, I will be getting back to you on that soon.

Links to previous best-of posts from last year can be found here.
My gay film recommendation post is here.
My master list of caption writers is here.

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“I can’t believe you sold him to Master Eaton!” I cried.
“Well, don’t blame me, his application was sitting on his desk and he wanted full price for that scrawny little welp. Full price!”
“You didn’t check Master Eaton’s record?”
“Well, his membership was reinstated in 2013, I thought that was good enough…”
I shook my head, wanting to smack him. “No you dolt, he’s under investigation by the police right now for abuse against his last slave. You don’t know what he does to boys – his reputation… you have to cancel the sale.”
“That sounds like a lot of heresay, if you ask me,” he folded his arms.
“Take a good look at Master Easton’s record, you’ll see, he’s going to destroy that boy! Do you really want to be responsible for that?”
I was pleased to see him hesitate. “I…I made the best decision with all the data available.”
“Oh come on, Master Kendrick. Work with me here. I found the welp a nice Master in New Hampshire, lives in the mountains on a beautiful property. They have horses, and there’s two other boys and a girl there. It’s a much better place for him… he’ll grow into a man in service there.”

We both heard a popping sound and looked over at the boy.
“Where did he get gum…?” Master Kendrick wondered.
He chewed the gum and sighed dramatically, “When are we going to play? I’m bored.”

Master Kendrick looks at me. “See, Master Eaton would straighten that attitude out.”
“Yeah and murder him in the process!” I insisted.
“He hasn’t murdered anyone!”

Another pop. We both look at the boy expectantly. He raised an eyebrow. “How about you two just stop arguing and spank me?”
“Oh that’s not a bad idea,” I say.
“Yeah, I’m for that.”
“You get the paddle? I’ll get the oil.”
“Ooo I have a new one I want to try out…”

He just shook his head and muttered under his breath, “Masters. Pfft.”

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Text is fictional.

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I fell in love with Andre watching him pick out produce at my neighborhood’s Farmer’s Market. His concentration, his obsession with perfect, shape, and scent was remarkable. It was actually rather adorable to see a grown man in a fine wool coat admire apples like he was picking out diamond jewelry. I offered to buy him hot cider. He accepted, and we ended up meeting for dinner.

Dating a ballet dancer has its ups and downs – and its side to sides and leaps across the room. When he is not practicing, he’s at the physical therapist; when he’s not getting preventative treatments, there’s rehearsals, costume fittings, photoshoots… busy busy!

After almost a year of this, I told Andre I thought our relationship was strained by not only his schedule, but the fact he lived on the other side of town from me. He was rarely ever home anyway so I suggested, why not move in with me? I could see in his eyes how much he wanted to say yes, to wake up in the morning spooned against me, to receive those backscratches I did so well, to allow more moments for spontaneous sex to happen. He said my house was just a bit too far from the studio to live there together. I told him he meant the world to me, and I would see what I could do. Andre looked puzzled, but his lips curled up at the corners. “Oh really big guy? Show me then.”

Five weeks later, I ushered him blindfolded into my basement. My house was built etched into a hill so the basement half jutted out into the backyard (the top half was really the main level as the driveway connected to it out front). I particularly liked this because it meant the basement had windows and would fill with natural light in late morning. I picked this time to lead Andre down there by his elegant, manicured hands. I ignored his pestering questions and guided him.

“What? What is it baby? What sort of Valentines Day present did you get me?”
Finally I halted him in place. “Not ‘get’, ‘had made’.” I removed the blindfold. Andre’s jaw dropped. I had turned one of my storage rooms into a practice studio for him, all for him.
“I know what you’re thinking,” I put my hands up in a reassuring gesture, “Yes, it’s insulated, and I actually hired a woman who specializes in building dance studios. She said it’s all at professional standards, down to how slick the floor is…” but he wasn’t listening, he was just staring.

“Oh my god it’s perfect! It’s PERFECT! I can’t believe you had this made for me!” he screeched, throwing his arms around me and nearly knocking me over.
“Ooof!” I wrapped my arms around his slim, muscular waist and hugged him back. “You said my house was far, so maybe, this might encourage you to come here more often, not spend so much time at the studio all alone?”

His face was beautiful, on the verge of tears. “You want to see me so badly…?”
“Yes baby,” I kissed his full lips. “Don’t laugh, but I fell for you the day I saw you buying apples. I am in real danger of falling into deep, stupid love here and I had to show you I was serious about this relationship.”
He was still looking at everything as if he mildly stunned. I set him down and he walked over to touch the bar and admire himself in the mirror. “It’s just perfect.” Then he did begin to cry in earnest. I held him and kissed him passionately, to tell him it was alright without saying a word.

Remember how I said I knew he wanted more opportunities for spontaneous sex? We ended up christening the studio right there on the brand new floor. I caught Andre watching himself in the mirror as I thrust between his sculpted legs. I knew it pleased him, to see how much I was enjoying myself, to hear our cries mingle and echo in the empty room he’d claim as his own space. This was this thank you gift to me. 

Now, we have dinner together at least four nights a week instead of one or two. Instead of texting Andre, pestering him about if we can hang out, I just stick my head downstairs and announce “dinner’s ready!” and he comes bounding up the stairs like a gazelle. He really might be part gazelle.

I have no idea what I’m going to get him for Valentine’s Day next year, but more than that I’m looking forward to one more magical year together, this time as lovers sharing the same home together. Our home.

______________________________________________________
Text is 100% fictional. The dancer is Ricardo Santos in 2007. Source of the photo is here. Santos is a Brazilian dancer, now with the Joffrey Ballet in Chicago (goddamn!).

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I had to go out of town for work, and when I was stuck in the hotel late at night bored and alone, my boyfriend decided to entertain me over Skype by jiggling his hot fuckable ass at me in his favorite thong. It made me absolutely insane; my yearning to fuck him went through the roof.
I sighed in exasperation, “…Fuck it, I want to change my airline ticket and coming home early. I don’t wanna go to that stupid meeting tomorrow.”

He called over his shoulder into the webcam microphone, “Why don’t I come there? It’ll be expensive but we can split it… we have that hotel room for another night, and you said there’s a jacuzzi in that hotel right? Extend it one more night. I bet we could get into a lot of trouble, leaving some sexy marks on the glass of the windows, you sliding into me on the roof of the parking garage…”

I moaned at the idea of turning this sterile evil business trip into a sexy weekend adventure. “You know when you jiggle your ass at me when asking for favors, I am physically unable to say no,” I reminded him.

“Forward me the email of that ticket when you buy it!” he grinned widely at me, sliding his hands up his thighs. I shake my head and smile. He’s so demanding, but he’s worth it. “Fine, fine I’ll buy it. Now where were we? Oh yes, Show me your beautiful ass up close again boy…and this time, strip for me. I know what a voyeur you are, will you do a little strip tease for me?”

A lightbulb went off over his head and he ran off camera. I heard rustling. When he returns, he’s carrying his favorite purple dildo. “How about a striptease and this too?”
I purred, “Fuck yes baby, I wanna watch that.”

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Text is fictional.

Video

Oh my gosh, this is so wonderful! Such a sweet marriage proposal video <3. Not enough of these. By the way, the video is bigger if you watch it on Vimeo.

(For anyone who isn’t familiar with Los Angeles, West Hollywood is gay central and the home to LA’s most notorious gay bars. At least one of the crosswalks in WeHo is actually painted in rainbow colors. Proud to see such love in my city, fuck yeah LA!)