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captionstojerkby:

Traffic was so bad I had the cab stop ten blocks downtown and just ran the rest of the way myself. I didn’t care that I’d burned bridges with Manny; he wouldn’t have understood that when you get a call like the one I’d just gotten, you don’t wait around and finish out your shift pulling half-caf caps. Manny would deal, and if (no, when) this fell through there were any number of other crappy coffee shops in New York City where I could spend the rest of my life as a barista and not a baritone.

But I was so fucking late, and it had been the last day of auditions, and I knew they’d all be back on a plane in the morning. I was worried the rehearsal space they’d rented for auditions would be locked up; it wasn’t, but all the lights were off, and I was out of breath by the time I got up to the third floor and barged into the room where they’d been held. I must have looked ludicrous, wearing jeans and a winter jacket and knitted cap and a green fucking apron with my nametag—I pulled it off quickly—and standing all alone in the middle of the empty rehearsal room. Well, not empty, and not alone—Albert Sommer, youngest artistic director in the Staatsoper’s history, whose rise was so meteoric to have been a portent and sign of a sea change in the art, was leaning against the piano with a score open to his side.

“I’m… I’m so sorry, Mr. Sommer.” I stammered, out of breath. “I got here as quickly as I could. Did the other members of the committee—”

“No, no, do not worry,” he said, and gave a smile that didn’t make me feel like I shouldn’t worry. He hadn’t said anything during my audition that morning (I thought I’d bombed until I got the call they wanted to meet with me again), so this was the first time I’d heard his voice. It was heavily accented, and he spoke in clipped, precise, musical syllables.

“It is just I. The committee was very impressed with your audition, Mr. Shannon.” This wasn’t real. I must have banged my head in the shop, and I was hallucinating, dreaming. “We did though, have some concerns about your Figaro. Well"—and here gave another tight, pained Teutonic smile—"I had some concerns about your Figaro.”

So no, not dreaming. Fuck. I knew it was a reach. I knew I shouldn’t have tried it, should have chosen an easier piece than Largo. I said it was cliched, I said it wasn’t ready, but my vocal coach knew that the Staatsoper was doing The Barber of Seville in two seasons and thought it might make an impression. Stupid, stupid, stupid—whoever they picked as their baritone artist-in-residence wouldn’t even be singing a major part, would just be some third villager, anyway; why had I been so stupid?

“If you’d like, there are other pieces I’ve prepared that better show my voice. I’d be glad to—”

“No, no, no. Your singing was more than adequate. Quite nice.” From anyone else, it’d have been crushing; from Albert Sommer, hearing my voice called “nice” made me wish I had something to lean against. “No,” he continued, moving to sit at the piano, “it was your interpretation.”

“Oh,” I said.

“Yes,” he said, as if I’d said something worth assenting to. “Barbiere is a misunderstood piece. It is comic, of course. And Figaro is the most comic of its characters. But he is not—wie sagt man das?—broad. No. He is not broad.” He paused, thinking. “Ah! The opera might be buffa, but Figaro is not the buffoon, yes?” The smile he gave his own joke was still just as tight as his earlier ones had been.

His fingers began to move over the keys, not looking like they were pressing them hard enough to play, but  I heard bars from the middle of the aria. He closed his eyes for a moment, catching Rossini’s rapid pulse, and then began to hum bits of the libretto; I followed along under my breath, both of us jumping lightly, in tandem, from phrase to phrase, both of us lost in something we knew deep in our bones. “Yes, yes, everyone wants him, everyone wants his services—’tutti mi chiedono, tutti mi vogliono.’ He is describing his customers—‘donne, ragazzi, vecchi, fanciulle’—and his services—both so varied!” His playing trailed off, and he looked at me again. “He does so many things, yes Mr. Shannon? Whatever is needed! He is a barber, but one di qualità. He wants something more from the world, yes, and so he advertises”—he put the stress on the second syllable and shortened the ‘i’, pronouncing it ‘adVERTtisses’—“himself as factotum. Ah, the factotum! The man who can do anything, yes? The man willing to do anything, yes?”

I nodded.

"And this is why the count feels he can trust him so. Why he can put his faith in him, yes, with all the delicate matters of the plot. Figaro is not some bumbling servant. Figaro is not a stupid man. He knows the way the world works. He knows his place in it, and he knows the—the advantages of that place, yes? And he knows how one uses that place to his advantage.” He’d stood up from the piano, and was slowly walking toward me, his heels clicking on the parquet floor. I heard one of my sneakers squeak as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, and I took in the crisp lines of his suit, his tie, the one strand of hair that’d fallen out of place during his playing and hung down over his forehead. “I need that in all of my singers, Mr. Shannon. And the baritone who is to one day successfully sing the role of Figaro must be able to communicate that when he sings. He needs to be able to make it very, very clear how much he—Figaro, natürlich—understands what he must do to get what he wants.”

By then he was right in front of me, far too close; I could smell his cologne, which was strangely both clean and dark, full of scents mysterious and easy to place at the same time. I realized I was trembling and looked down, which was a mistake; those crisp lines of his suit were barely restraining it. “Per carità,” I whispered, or wanted to, but a perfectly manicured thumb came up to run over my beard and down my jaw, lifting my chin so my eyes met his again.

"Now. Perhaps you would you like to try singing for me again, Mr. Shannon, yes?”

A unique bit of work from captionstojerkby, well done! I hope they put that piano bench to good use.

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I came into the room holding a white box in my hands. My boyfriend didn’t notice me at first. Flint was draped over the sofa like an over-sized Great Dane, his eyes glued to the muted TV. I heard him sigh in lament as he watched the clips KCAL News were broadcasting of firework shows from the East Coast. The sun hadn’t yet set here in Los Angeles, but on the other side of the country it was over.

“Flint,” I said softly. He lifted his head and glanced over at me with a mournful, uninterested expression on his face.
“What?” he sulked.
“I have a present for you.”
“…But my birthday isn’t until August.”
“I know baby.” I smile. “This is a just-because present.”
He glanced over at the bright colors on the screen before sitting up. I took a seat next to him and offered the box. Flint carefully peeled off the white butcher paper; the box was blank and held no clues to its contents. He popped the tape and opened it. When he saw what was inside, his brow furrowed.
“Headphones?” he inquired.
“They’re gun-range earmuffs, and there’s some high end earplugs in there too. I know how badly you wanted to go see fireworks this 4th of July, and this will help dampen the sound so it won’t trigger your PTSD.”

Flint’s face softened and he traced his fingers over the padding on the left ear cup. “But…are you sure it will be enough so I don’t have an anxiety attack?”
I put a hand on his shoulder. “Yes. I found a place up in the hills, called the Baldwin Hills Overlook. It’s in Culver City. It’s way up in the hills and not directly below any fireworks shows, so you can see them at a distance without being in direct range of the loud bangs and explosions.”
He bit his lip. I could see Flint badly wanted to believe me. Before he was deployed to the Middle East, we would go down to Dockweiler Beach and light bonfires and set off illegal firecrackers and just generally act like drunk hooligans. As a child, Fourth of a July was a family affair for little Flint and he felt a strong pull to carry on the tradition of flag cakes, cook-outs, and things that go boom. Being stuck at home made him miserable, especially because he was a military man and felt pressure to participate.

“Tovy…I’m not …but what if it’s not enough?” he said softly.
“Parking is free, and we can leave at any time. It’s not far from our apartment here in West Hollywood, just down La Cienega then we turn on Jefferson. Easy peasy. Worse comes to worse, Brotman Medical Center is like right there.”

Flint took the items out of the box. “You’ve thought of everything,” he said in awe. He looked away but I saw that his eyes were wet.
“Yes, because I know it means a lot to you. Oh – one more thing.”
Flint blinked. “There’s more?”
“Yes,” I said. I got up and vanished into the kitchen, then returned holding some rectangular in metal tin.
“A flag cake!” he squealed.
“Made with Cool Whip and everything,” I beamed.
“Oh Tovy baby,” his voice cracked as he threw his arms around me. “You’re the best goddamn boyfriend. I’m so excited.” He punctuated that with a kiss. I watched him put the earmuffs on. “How do I look?”
“Dorky,” I chuckled.
“What?” he said.
I pulled them away from his ears. “Adorkable, but I like you that way. Now grab your sweater while I pack us some drinks.”
Flint smiled at me, then turned off the TV and was up the stairs in a flash.

We got lucky and found parking at base of the park, then began the upward climb up switchbacks to the baseball fields above; from there, we then continued up a steep driveway to the Overlook. Flint paused to stare at the panorama of Los Angeles spread out below us. “This is fantastic,” he breathed. “You can see all the way from the Pacific Ocean to Downtown…and beyond. I had no idea this was up here! Goddamn, the sunset is gorgeous, setting behind the hills like that. Oh, I can see the 10!”
I let him gush, then we found a spot and sat down. By the time we cut the cake, people were lighting off things down below and Flint dived for the earplugs and headphones. People stared at us, but Flint ignored them in favor of being hand-fed cake by me. We drank our sodas until the sun set, and firework shows began legally -and illegally- all over the city. Flint and I eventually packed up our stuff back into my backpack and stood to see over everyone else. As the night deepened, more and more neighborhoods began to shoot off their pyrotechnics. I watched Flint carefully, but he was transfixed.

When a community college close to the Overlook began their show, Flint reached for my hand and squeezed it hard.
“Do you wanna go?” I asked.
Flint didn’t respond. He couldn’t hear me, and he wasn’t paying attention. I watched the colors reflect in his eyes and I realized he was crying. I wrapped my arms around him and he clung to me, sniffling. “You know why I love fireworks so much?”
I shook my head.
“Because even if we fucked up in the Middle East, and even if the US sometimes does dumb shit, fireworks allow us to be patriotic without being political. I think we need that, now more than ever. I never thought I’d get to see them again because of my stupid PTSD.”
I kissed his cheek and rested my head on his shoulder.

As the finales came on, Flint had started to tremble from their bombastic displays. We made it through the Culver City finale, and then he told me he wanted to go in a harried voice. Truthfully, it was a smart move. We got out of there before traffic began and we were home in record time.

I was the first in the door with Flint trailing behind me. He barely shut the door when he grabbed my wrist and spun me around. I gasped in surprise as he came at me pelvis first, then pinned me to the wall with a deep kiss. His hands roved up my arms and my shoulders as he rubbed his half-hard erection into my hip. My hands instantly went to his ass. When we broke, I was panting and my lips felt slightly bruised.
“What was that?”
“A thank you,” he murmured, trailing kisses up my jaw. “You are just the most wonderful, fantastic thing to happen to me, Tovy. I haven’t felt so wonderful in a long time, and watching you feed me cake made me ridiculously horny.”
I lifted my hips off the wall to meet him, and I was pleased to hear him groan. “You wanna go create some fireworks of our own?”
I saw a flicker of amusement cross Flint’s face. “Fuck yeah I do. I’m going to make love to you so hard you’re gonna sing the Star Spangled Banner.”
I laughed and Flint couldn’t help but join me. I paused to put the rather smushed cake remains back into the fridge, then ran to join Flint in the bedroom. He was naked and waiting for me, and tasted deliciously of strawberries and Cool Whip.

I didn’t dare tell Flint, but he was a screamer and he made more noise than any explosion we heard from Baldwin Hills that night.

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Text is fictional. Can’t find the source. The Baldwin Hills Overlook is a real thing on Jefferson Blvd in Los Angeles (not to be confused with the Kenneth Hahn Recreation area on La Cienega Blvd) and a great place to see fireworks.

Best of June

Best of June

Here’s the most popular original content posts from June:

My Sex Slave
Fieldmaster
Boy with the Cute Ass at the Pool
Missing His Boy
A Taste of Being Chaste
Shake Dat Ass
Beach Fuck Therapy
Kevin, the Best HIgh School Boyfriend Ever
Roleplaying Fuck
The Making of a Frat Slut
Religiously Chaste
Getting Carried Away With a Kiss
Please Don’t Eat My Model
Horny House Faggot Wants Attention – and Gets It
From Romania, With Love
Horny and Stuck in a Chastity Belt
Dat Ass
Love Confession
Wake up, I’m Horny!
Fuck Me, Mr. Reynolds!
And also this silly post about the Gay Agenda

So there’s that. We’re at about 1,974 posts and we’ve broken 3,700 followers. I also released Orion’s New Leash On Life, and held a fundraiser. You guys saved my ass, you have no idea. Thanks for reading and being here.

PS: Oh, and also, thank you for all the condolences when my parakeet passed away.

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As the foreign exchange student, it was my job to be properly baffled by the swaggering patriotism Americans display toward Fourth of July. I joined my host family on their trip to the lake and the subsequent BBQ but I couldn’t help but feel it was too over-the-top. The blaring country music from the stereo, the giant racks of ribs and slabs of meat going onto the grill and smoker, speedboats zooming around the lake with big flags waving on the back, the casual haphazard use of firecrackers…it was sensory overload. I stepped away from the party and went for a walk down by the dock.

That’s where I found him, all 6 foot 3 of him, upside down on his hands with his flag-clad ass in the air. My eyes were glued his taut, contracted muscles in his arms and shoulders holding up his torso. He was so pale, his hair was so blond and fine. I was captivated.

“Goddamn,” I murmured.
He came down and grinned. His face was all red. “Sorry, didn’t realize I was putting on a show for someone. I was just stretching.”
“No um. Continue. Please. I’m not really getting all this 4th of July stuff, but I think that was helping…”
His eyes flickered to the rainbow bracelet on my wrist. My host sister made it for me; it was made out of embroidery string and impossible to get off without cutting so I had left it on.  “You have a cute accent. Where are you from?”
“Indonesia. I’m a college exchange student.”
“Indonesia?” He looked impressed. “Wow, that’s far.”
I shrugged, a bit shy.
“Wanna see me do it again?”
“Yes please.”

I watched him go up on his hands again, my eyes roving over his body. I was beginning to see the allure of an American boy…if he didn’t stop this, I was going to be sporting a flagpole soon.

When he uprighted himself again he said, “My name’s James.”
“Mine’s Rukma, but everyone calls me Rick.” We shook hands.
He scrunched up his face. “Rukma is better.”
“I agree,” I said quickly.
“Hey Rukma, are you doing anything now? I was gonna go do some fishing, pick berries for a bit. Fishing’s better with two.”
“Fish?” I perked up. “I would love fish…I come from a fishing village, so it’s seafood all the time, but here it’s just meat meat meat and more meat.”
He laughs, a deep mirthful sound. “Well find you a rainbow trout to match your bracelet.”
I glance over my shoulder. “Let me just go tell my host family I’m going to go explore for a bit.”
“Sure,” he grins, a cocky smile. “Be right here.”

We kept busy; he took me out on a small boat, we fished, and we cooked them. We drank American beer, swam, and played horseshoes. His parents asked me so many questions about Indonesia. The thing I remember most about that day though was the firework show after dusk. James and I had gone off together to a little secret spot by the lake. We put down a towel. I had a beautiful view of every single explosion, as I was on my back, losing my virginity to a man I’d met that morning. I had a feeling it was the most American thing I’d done all day.

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Text is fictional.

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“So ..mom. I met someone at Pride yesterday.”
“You MET someone? Good for you baby! Is this the end to your seven month dry spell?”
“I think so mom, I really do. He’s a good kisser, and there were sparks. Can I bring him over for dinner sometime?”
“Oh you better! Bring him over tomorrow, so I have time to make lasagna. I need to look this boy up and down and make sure he’s a good fit for you, not like that last moron you dated.”
“Yeah Derek was not the best choice…but he was smoking hot.”
“All those years or parenting, and I still can’t seem to teach you to not think with your dick.”
“MOTHER!”
She laughed over the phone. “Just bring him for dinner at 6:30 sharp.”
“Yes mother.”
“And what’s his name?”
“Clark.”
“Mmn. Morgan and Clark Fairchild. I like it.”
“MOTHER! Seriously, we just started dating 48 hours ago.”
“And I used to doodle your father’s name and mine in our notebooks when we were in 7th grade. Never too early.”
“Mother, please be nice to Clark. I don’t want to scare him off.”
“I’ll be nice, I’ll be nice. Bring dessert, ok Morgan?”
“Yes mom. Love you.”
“You too, sweetheart. Bye.”

“So…she’s cool with us?” Clark was still getting used to the idea of PFLAG parents.
“Lasagna at her house tomorrow, 6:30,” Morgan replies, leaning against the counter.
“I’m meeting your mother already…?”
“Not like you think. My last boyfriend was a jackass and liked to hit people, so now my mom wants to "approve” all my boyfriends through cunning use of dinner invites.“
He chuckles. "Well I would love home-cooked lasagna, and I’ll do my best to impress your mom.”
“Thank you for understanding, Clark. Oh, and we have to bring dessert.”
“Dessert?” His face lit up. “You know what that means.”
“What?”
“Iiiiit’s baking time. Go get your apron on.”
“But I don’t have an apron, Clark.”
“Guess you’re gonna have to bake in your underwear then.”
Before I can protest, he’s already digging in my cupboards and making lists. Baking in our underwear with a cute boy? Ok, I think I’m totally over Derek now.

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Text is fictional, source unknown.

Hey there! I just read the post that was a “Part 2”. The one about Valentino. I just wanted to say it teared me up, reading the way the master cared for his boy, and what he was saying about treating, training and caring for the boy. It gives me hope that a Sir and Master like that will train me and treat me the same way he treated Valentino. Thank you so much for writing, I thoroughly enjoy and love your stories!

Hey there! I just read the post that was a “Part 2”. The one about Valentino. I just wanted to say it teared me up, reading the way the master cared for his boy, and what he was saying about treating, training and caring for the boy. It gives me hope that a Sir and Master like that will train me and treat me the same way he treated Valentino. Thank you so much for writing, I thoroughly enjoy and love your stories!

Awww thank you ;_; You’re so sweet. Funny enough, you’re not the first person who has said that post made them a little teary. I’m so floored my writing has such an impression on people. That post was rather verbose and I was expecting a lukewarm response to it, so now I feel like I owe all my readers a hug and a box of tissues to make up for how it affected people.

You’ll definitely find a good Master one day – just put your confidence forward and you’ll attract a Master who wants to be worthy of you.

Thanks for reading <3