“Hey David,” Joe says after Facetime connects. “Hey baby. What’s wrong? You said you needed my opinion.” “Yeah I do. Am I stupid?” “What on Earth brought that up?” “Someone told me that I’m dumb because all my body’s energy went into growing my ass instead of my brain.” David guffaws. “Oh babyboy, I’m sorry, it’s rude to laugh, but what a rude thing to say to someone. Sounds like they’re jealous of your big beautiful ass.” Joe tilts the phone. “This ass?” “Ohh yeah. That big beautiful ass.” “You haven’t answered my question though. Do you think I’m stupid?” “You’re not stupid,” David reassures him. “What was the context of that insult?” Joe leans against the counter of this bathroom. “Well, I was talking with a guy at the bar last night about a Youtube video, and in it there’s a moment where this guy gets stumped because he doesn’t know what flour is made of. And like, I realized I didn’t know either? I thought it was made of flowers. And so this guy at the bar made fun of me, patted me on the shoulder, and walked off.”
David is struggling to hold it together. “Flowers? Why do you think it’s made of flowers?” “Because it’s kind of soft like petals are? I mean, my mom never taught me anything about cooking or baking – that was ‘woman’s work’ as she said.” Joe makes air quotes with one hand. “Well, your kind of deductive reasoning isn’t illogical, based on what you know. You’re not entirely wrong though – flour is made from wheat, which is a plant. It’s ground up into a fine powder.” “Yeah I googled it after. It makes a lot of sense. But like, David that isn’t the only thing – last month, someone made fun of me because I thought ponies were baby horses. And I also thought that the black market was like a real place like Diagon Alley, and I’ve been wrong on so. many. things. about women and pregnancy-” “Joe.” “Yes Daddy?” “God it drives me insane when you call me that.” Joe smiles coyly. “You’re not stupid. You had a really sheltered religious childhood, that’s not your fault. Stupid people doubledown when they realize they’re wrong – you’re curious and open to learning as you go. You are a great student, you taught yourself all about fitness and nutrition, and your quick thinking saved some ducklings last week. Plus, you are great in bed. I adore you, you’re fine as you are.” Joe exhales and his shoulders relax. “Thank you David, I really appreciate you saying that. It’s frustrating though, constantly wondering what my life would have been like if I wasn’t homeschooled for all those years. How much more I’d know.” “Well, then you wouldn’t be my Joe. And in a different life, we might of have never met.”
Joe is silent for a moment. “Woah. I never even thought of that. You’d just be walking around in the world, and I’d never know?” “Probably.” Joe contemplates this. “That’s wild. So I get to date you and have a great big ass and thick body, live in this amazing city, and have great college life with friends who take me to EDM shows – but in return I don’t know some basic shit?” “Essentially.” “You know what, I’m fine with that.” David smiles. “I’m glad you feel that way.” Joe tilts the phone back again. “You wanna come over after dinner and fuck me?” “Oh my god, yes. I have been trying to be respectful of your exams coming up and not asking, but baby I have been dreaming of it.” “I want you to tell me about those dreams.” “Oh I will.” David watches Joe walk to his bedroom. “I’m going to put in a plug to get ready for tonight. You wanna watch or am I keeping you?” “Joe, if you disconnect Facetime now, you’re going to get a spanking.” Joe gulps. “Damn Daddy!” David groans.
Leave a Reply