“See I’m right! I can clearly feel them. My argument that men have titties too still stands.”
Ramirez rolled his eyes and swatted Piechowski’s hand away. “They’re not titties, you man whore. They’re pecs, which is short for pectorals. They’re muscles. Titties have fat.”
“They’re a little squi-”
“Don’t.” Ramirez interrupted. “You dare.”
“Ooo I love when you use that voice. Gives me goosebumps.”
“God are all gay men as horny as you, ‘Chowski?” Warner finished tying his shoes and stood up.
“I think all men are horny. But this isn’t about horniness, this is about anatomy. Straight guys do not ever appreciate male anatomy, and you really should. Men’s bodies are so beautiful.”
“Straight guys appreciating men’s anatomy sounds pretty gay,” Warner replied.
“That’s not what the ancient Roman’s thought,” Piechowski shot back.
“If you want to appreciate anatomy, you should suck my dick,” Ramirez muttered. “My girl won’t give me a blowjob for anything.”
“Not even on your birthday last week? Does she let you do anal instead?”
“No!” Ramirez answered.
“Bro. You’re getting scammed.”
Piechowski snickered. “You guys are hilarious. You negotiate with your girlfriends that you get the one sex act you like once a year?” He laughed. “Why on Earth.”
Warner cracked his gum. “Oh come on, gay boy, you act like finding a partner who does everything you want is so easy.”
Piechowski smirked. “Oh no. We play a different ball game. I have a boyfriend, but when one of us wants to do something the other doesn’t, we just …go get it. My boyfriend loves the details.”
“What? How is that safe?” Warner responded.
“As long as we’re tested and using condoms, it’s all fine. Hell, sometimes we bring that third person over to watch or play with together. No positive tests yet.”
Ramirez raised an eyebrow. “None of that happens.”
“Sure it does.” Piechowski picked up his phone and did a voice text. “Hey babe, would you mind if I gave this hot guy on my team a blowjob? He hasn’t had one in a year.”
Warner grinned. “I have to see if this works.”
Piechowski’s phone binged. He held up the response: “Honey, give him two, it’s a charity case at this point. “See? Told you!”
Warner gave Ramirez a playful punch in the arm. ‘Haha you hear that, the gays think you’re a charity case!” He snickered.
Ramirez glowered at him. “I am not.”
“Well if you want a blowjob, I’ll be on short stop for a while and the lockers later,” Piechowski winked and jogged out to the field.
Ramirez watched him go. “Am I insane that I’m possibly considering his offer?”
Warner looked at him. “Yeah. A little. Also how do you give two blowjobs at once?”
“I think he just means like you get two. Like an IOU thing.”
“Oh. Makes sense.”
“Hard to say no to that. But from a guy…?” Ramirez made a face.
Warner cracked his gum again. “Eeehhhh. I mean, I think if it was an ass versus a vag, it’d be a dealbreaker. But like, a mouth’s a mouth right? If you close your eyes, it’d feel like the same thing I think.”
“I’m surprised to hear you say that Warner.”
“Well. I’m an opportunist. If you don’t want your second…shame for it to go to waste, is all I’m saying.
“He gave two to me! I get to decide what to do with them.” Ramirez insisted.
“Oh look who is possessive now,” Warner teased.
“I am not possessive!”
“Don’t get your titties all twisted now.”
Ramirez punched Warner in the arm.
“Ow!”
__________
Captions are fictional.
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