Jack: Yeah….I got a crush on a guy like that. So hot. I get paralyzed when I see him.
Sarah: Really? Or is it your dick thinking?
Jack: Yeah incredible. I know he’s got a weird face, but his posture and way he talks are so sexy all together. Remember that pool party last month?
Sarah: Yeah?
Jack: I had to leave the room when he was eating a hot dog…standing there in his blue Speedo eating it…
Sarah: Ahahah. Wait. Blue Speedo? Are you talking about RJ?”
Jack: What? You know him?”
Sarah: LOL he’s my cousin. I’ll put you guys in touch.
Jack: What????
Sarah: I’ll give him your number.
Jack: no no no no bad idea.
Sarah: Not no – yes.
Jack: Sarah I can’t even. Just no. Please. I can’t deal.

RJ: Hi Jack? Sarah gave me your number.
Jack: Omg.
RJ: Apparently you like the way I eat hotdogs?”
Jack: …excuse me while I go kill your cousin.
RJ: Come over here and do it. The pool temp is great today. Bring a Speedo. 🙂

Jack stared at his phone.  “….. fuck.” He swallowed hard and texted back: “Be there in an hour.” He was glad voice-cracking sounds couldn’t be heard over text.

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Captions are fictional.