“Now that you have set the time and the date, you can now change the light settings using the LED button. It comes with five different settings, which can be programmed to rotate or flash. To begin this, hold down the LED button until it blinks twice and….” Andy lifts his head. “Babe are you paying attention?”
“…What?” I force myself to look at this handsome, scruffy face. “What? Oh. Nope. Cant’ say I am.”
“Why not?” Andy asks, looking annoyed I’m not sharing his fascination with the new electronic toy he’s got. As a professional DJ, he has a lot of techy things I don’t quite understand. I’m only interested in toys that use batteries and go between his legs.

I give him a little smile. “I think you know why I’m not paying attention.”
“Why?” he asks with a huff.
I point to his butt. “Cause your ass is out of this world.”
Andy stares at me with this blank look of you-did-not-just-say-that combined with men-think-about-sex-every-five-seconds-don’t-they. As in, he wants to be mad at me but he is more amused than anything.
I can’t help myself either. “Your butt has universal appeal. You put the ass in asteriod. You make me want to take off my Kuiper belt, launch my rocket, and have a Big Bang in Ur-”
“Don’t. You. Dare.” Andy interrupts, pointing at me with an accusatory finger.
I’m trying not to laugh. He is so hot when he’s irritated. A smile splits my face. “Ok. Fine. Buuuut…Babe,” I insist. “you gotta admit, your ass is fucking fine as hell. I mean, goddamn, even Pluto way out there can see dat ass is …nfff fine. Damn distracting.”
“Pluto isn’t a planet,” Andy reminds me gently, blushing a little under the praise.
“Your ass could be,” I continue. “I mean, damn Andy, you gotta be careful or SpaceX is gonna try colonize it one of these days!”

Andy gave me a blank look. “Hold on.” He tosses the manual down, then gets up from the bed in a flash and runs out of the room.
“Wh…what? Where are you going?” I ask, perplexed.
He came back, holding a tape recorder. “Say that line again.”
“Uh…” I lean into the tape record. “SpaceX is going to try and colonize it one of these days?”
Andy clucks. “No no, say it the way you said it before! And put “ass” in there somewhere, and put the damn part in front.”
“Damn, Andy, your ass could be planet. You better be careful or SpaceX is going to colonize it one day!”
He looks excited. “Yes, now say it again but say babe instead of ‘Andy’.”

I humor him with a couple more takes until he’s happy, then he bolts from the room again. I follow him to his studio where he’s already uploading the track to his software. 
“What are you doing?” I ask. Everything on his screen is unintelligible to me.
“I was like 90% done mixing this new track and it just needed a vocal sample, and I could not fucking find one. What you said was perfect. It’s gonna fit so well.”
“Are you going to put it on SoundCloud?”
He looks at me for a second. “Yeah, why?”
I fold my arms. “Am I getting royalties for this?” I tease.

Andy raises an eyebrow at me. “How about if you give me two hours to do this, I’ll let you sit in my lap and rub your crotch against mine while you squeeze my ass and kiss me until we come? Then we can talk about paperwork ok babe?”
“Uh…….. ya know what, I am totally totally ok with that. You just have to be wearing that pair of underwear still.”
“You really like my space underwear huh.”
I grin. “I will like it better when it looks like the Milky Way inside.”

Andy groans and throws a stress ball at me. I catch it, laughing, and then leave him be. It was a long two hours of waiting, but when I came back with a snack and a drink and me in a jockstrap, I had 100% of Andy’s attention.

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Text is fictional. The OP that uploaded this is not the owner of the picture… this model has a Tumblr and I’ve used some of his images before. If anyone can remind me who he is, that’d be great. I think he’s Italian. Edit: It’s @bahamvt.