I sit on the sofa. “Hey babe.”
Marcelo tilts his head up and smiles at me. “Hey. How was your walk?”
“Productive. I’ve made a big decision.”
Marcelo furrows his brow. He reaches for the remote and turns off the television. “Is it about us?” he asks gently.
I shake my head. “No, it’s about me.” How could it be him? He’s so beautiful and lovely and kind. If he would just put his dishes in the dishwasher, he’d be damn near perfect.
“Are you alright?” Marcelo reaches out and I grasp his hand.
I take a big breath. “I think I have an issue with cocaine. I think I need to stop. And I don’t think I can.”
Marcelo stares at me a moment and slowly sits up. “But…you haven’t done it since Saturday, right? At Pembroke’s?”
I brush a tear away from my cheek. “No. When you go to work, I’ve been…like every day…” I sniffle.
Marcelo exhales softly. “Oh fuck.” He looks hurt, and I can’t look at him. “Come here,” he murmurs. I put my arms around myself and shrink, but Marcelo pulls me close. I melt at the sensation of his hard muscular body wrapped around me. I cry softly into his shoulder. “I haven’t had it today and it’s all I want.”
Marcelo nuzzles me. “Thank you for telling me. I didn’t realize you had been hiding it, and that’s…kind of a shock. But thank you so much for telling me. You’re very important to me, and I still love you a lot-”
I make an embarrassing loud sob.
“and we can work on this together ok?”
I nod.
“Get you some treatment ok?”
I nod. “It’s not fun anymore. I hate how I’m thinking about it more than you. I love you, and I don’t want to lose this thing we have together because of some stupid drug. Oh god am I drug addict?”
Marcelo gives me a squeeze. “No. You’re just a bit dependent right now. We’ll nip it in the bud. It’ll be better.”
I find some courage to look up at his beautiful mahogany eyes. “You think so?”
“Yes. Where’s my phone…we need to get some resources going.”
He leans forward and picks up his phone.
I caress his arm. “I love you,” I whisper.
“I love you more.” He kisses me. “Don’t forget that ok? Just…please?”
My bottom lip trembles. “Never.”
He smiles and exhales. “Good. Now let’s get started on this.”
I feel tired suddenly. Just totally drained. Shaky. Nauseous. More than I did this morning. Even now, I just want some of that powder upstairs in the drawer…
Marcelo looks at me and for a moment I think he’s reading my mind.
“Do you still have cocaine in the house?”
My eyes widen. I don’t answer him for a moment. It would be so easy to say no. Just…to have it as a back up… My eyes roam from up Marcelo’s sculpted limbs and washboard abs and that prominent bulge in his underwear. No, that was much more important. “Yes,” I whisper.
“Show me,” he says. Marcelo takes my hand and leads me upstairs. Once he has my stash, we sit on the bed together and make a plan.
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Captions are fictional.