“So ..mom. I met someone at Pride yesterday.”
“You MET someone? Good for you baby! Is this the end to your seven month dry spell?”
“I think so mom, I really do. He’s a good kisser, and there were sparks. Can I bring him over for dinner sometime?”
“Oh you better! Bring him over tomorrow, so I have time to make lasagna. I need to look this boy up and down and make sure he’s a good fit for you, not like that last moron you dated.”
“Yeah Derek was not the best choice…but he was smoking hot.”
“All those years or parenting, and I still can’t seem to teach you to not think with your dick.”
“MOTHER!”
She laughed over the phone. “Just bring him for dinner at 6:30 sharp.”
“Yes mother.”
“And what’s his name?”
“Clark.”
“Mmn. Morgan and Clark Fairchild. I like it.”
“MOTHER! Seriously, we just started dating 48 hours ago.”
“And I used to doodle your father’s name and mine in our notebooks when we were in 7th grade. Never too early.”
“Mother, please be nice to Clark. I don’t want to scare him off.”
“I’ll be nice, I’ll be nice. Bring dessert, ok Morgan?”
“Yes mom. Love you.”
“You too, sweetheart. Bye.”
“So…she’s cool with us?” Clark was still getting used to the idea of PFLAG parents.
“Lasagna at her house tomorrow, 6:30,” Morgan replies, leaning against the counter.
“I’m meeting your mother already…?”
“Not like you think. My last boyfriend was a jackass and liked to hit people, so now my mom wants to "approve” all my boyfriends through cunning use of dinner invites.“
He chuckles. "Well I would love home-cooked lasagna, and I’ll do my best to impress your mom.”
“Thank you for understanding, Clark. Oh, and we have to bring dessert.”
“Dessert?” His face lit up. “You know what that means.”
“What?”
“Iiiiit’s baking time. Go get your apron on.”
“But I don’t have an apron, Clark.”
“Guess you’re gonna have to bake in your underwear then.”
Before I can protest, he’s already digging in my cupboards and making lists. Baking in our underwear with a cute boy? Ok, I think I’m totally over Derek now.
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Text is fictional, source unknown.