CJ stopped on the corner and glanced up. Rocky halted one step ahead of him. “What are you looking at, love?” CJ raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you remember, this is where we met?” Rocky looked up at the blue street signs too. “Huh. So it is. Damn, this intersection looked a lot different back then.” “Yeah it did. I was right there.” CJ pointed to the curb. “Used to be a news stand there. I was trying to walk to the NYU Hospital. Didn’t make it.” He pointed to the corner store that was now a bank. “You were coming out of here, like you were on cue in a movie.” “I was getting coffee with my old partner, Dave. I stopped short leavin’ when I saw you, and he nearly walked into me. Some coffee splashed on his hand and he yelled at me.” Rocky chuckled. “He was such a loud bastard.” “I didn’t know that part. About the spill, I mean.” “I can’t even remember if I drank my coffee. I just remember running over to you. I thought you were dead. You were all curled up in a ball, clutching your side.”
CJ looked thoughtfully at the curb. ”I’ve always wondered if I would have made it, you know? If someone had called an ambulance, and we had to wait for it to come in the snow; instead of like, how you threw me in your police car and took me to the hospital with the lights blazing. The surgeon who took out my appendix said I was so close to death after it ruptured. He looked so pale when he told me after. I’ve always wondered how close.” “The timing… in this huge city…” Rocky drifted off. They lapsed into silence. CJ blinked. “Oh, it’s snowing.” “Huh. It is.” Rocky took his hand. They began walking north again. “Do you think our kids destroyed the house while we’re gone?” “I’m pretty sure we’re going to come back to all of our bedding being used as a fort. And I’m pretty sure your parents let them eat all the junk food they wanted,” CJ said. “I guarantee that.” CJ smiled. “You know if the damage is done, why not stay out a little bit longer? Get a coffee.” “Coffee sounds amazing. Can I pitch an idea?” “Sure.” “Why don’t we just rent a hotel room, go make love, and go back home tonight, and not tell a soul?” CJ’s jaw dropped. “Reginald O’Leary, what a scandalous thing to say. Wait, will there be coffee?” “Absolutely.” “Ah to heck with it. Let’s do it. Oh, there’s a Duane Reade! We can get what we need in there. Sign from the gods maybe?” “I sure think so. God, I suddenly want you so bad.” CJ smiled and squeezed Rocky’s hand as hard as he could. He hoped that Rocky couldn’t tell he was blushing and he just cheeks were just pink from the cold.
When you come home to quiet, your first thought is alarm. You expect chaos. Expected it. Embraced it. Adjusted to it. The new norm. You had gone on an errand to get groceries and diapers and like, a nice latte to go, because you had to get out of the house. You felt a bit guilty cause you know your husband felt the same way. But man you were about to go insane. There was fresh snow outside, so it was too cold to open a window. You needed the fresh air.
Thankfully the fridge was basically empty. You two had been surviving off the congratulatory casseroles from the adoption party. Spencer was smart. He suggested freezing a lot it so you could eat it when we needed it, prevent spoilage. Just one of the thousand reasons why you married him, and started a family with him.
Caroline wasn’t a newborn really, but she was still a baby. You were both pretty stunned you got a baby. The black gay couple new to parenting doesn’t get offered emergency placement babies first. Not in this town, no Sir. But you and Spencer got lucky. She had rare corneal issues and couldn’t see very well.
Future surgery was certain.
Years of medical bills and therapy lay ahead. So she got passed over. Spencer likes to say she was waiting for us. When we walked in the room at Child Services, she held her hands out immediately at the sound of his voice.
Of course her first two weeks home were rough for her. New people. New sounds. New place. New noises. She didn’t sleep regularly. So neither you nor Spencer slept regularly. She was always crying. You still loved her to pieces.
You set the (reusable) grocery bags on the mudroom floor and tilted your head. Not a sound. You kicked off your snowy boots, hung up your coat, and pushed your feet into your slippers. Not a sound at all.
“Spencer?” Silence. You walk into the living room and stop. You see legs – adult legs – sticking out of the playpen at a weird angle. You stare. You walk over. You burst out laughing and slam your hand over your mouth to not disturb them.
Spencer got Caroline to sleep. She liked being in the play pen, but could never fall asleep in there , but it seemed Spencer found a way to keep her satisfied and get her a nice nap. Good lord, is that precious. Of course you took a few photos. Good lord, what a good Daddy he is. His hands cradled her body. She’s out like a light. You watch them for a good ten minutes before you remember the milk and eggs are still sitting out.
You put away the groceries as quietly as you can. You tidy up. Get a load of laundry together. Reset. This is a marathon. Not a sprint. You’re a team. When Spencer gets up, you’ll take a nap. He’ll make dinner. The counters are clean and it’s ready to go.
You can do this, you tell yourself. You put your hands on your hips. Ok, but you are seriously cracking a window because god it is stuffy in here.
The window makes a creak. “Daniel?” comes a dry voice. “Yes Spencer?” “Oh you’re back. Just wanna make sure no one’s breaking into the house.” “Nah just getting some fresh air in here.” “Good idea. Stuffy. I need ten more minutes ok?” “Ok babe,” you say. “Love you both.” “Love you too.”
You sit on the sofa and read that National Geographic you’ve been meaning to read, but doze off halfway through. Sometime later, you wake up to plantains frying on the stove. Spencer singing to Caroline in the kitchen. You drift in and out, listening to him sing along to the portable speaker, until he calls you for dinner.
Dinner was great, but the intimacy you and Spencer shared that night was even better. Amazing what happens when you have some energy.
________________________________ Captions are 100% fictional.
Robert watched the creek water glide by in that mesmerizing way. It made a nice sound. “Can I remove my shoes and socks Daddy?” “Of course, Robert.” “Can you hold my fishing pole?” “I got it.” Robert shucked off his shoes and socks, making sure to set his nice shoes in clean grass. If he got his nice shoes dirty, Uncle Joseph would be cross. He took his pole back from his daddy as quick as he could. Robert wanted to be the one holding the pole if he caught a fish on the line. “Thanks Daddy.” Henry took off his shoes and socks too. When Henry dug his toes into the grass, Robert giggled did the same too. It was nice. Cool and soft. He liked nature a lot, and was glad when they could sneak off after church on Sunday to spend time in the meadow and have a picnic. The church was stuffy sometimes. Robert watched the fishing lure bob in the water. “Daddy?” “Yes Robert?” “Can I ask you about something?” “What is it son?” Henry asked. “It’s about Uncle Joe.” “What about him?” “Why does Uncle Joe go to your room instead of his in the middle of the night?” Henry stiffened. “How do you know that?”
Robert looked at his toes in the grass. “I got up to use the bathroom a few days ago. When I turned the corner, I saw Uncle Joe go into your room instead of his. I thought it was just a mistake cause he was tired, but he didn’t come back out. And no one said anything the next morning. He has his own room. I don’t understand.” Henry exhaled slowly. “…Am I in trouble Daddy?” “What? No. Of course not.” “But you seem upset that I told you this.”
Henry put a his hand on Robert’s knee. “You’re not upset. It’s just hard to explain.” Robert waited. “Do you remember when we had that talk about sex?” Robert made a face. “Ew. Yes. It was soo embarrassing. And gross.” Henry chuckled. “Yes. Do you remember how we talked about how when a man and a woman like eachother, they go on dates, and if they really like eachother, they may have sex?” “Yes?” Robert said in that tone that he didn’t quite believe anyone would really want to do that. “Well. Sometimes, very rarely. Not…all men want to be with another woman.”
Robert stared at him. “What?” Henry rubbed the back of his neck. “When a man and a woman want to be together, it’s called attraction. Sometimes, a man is attracted to other men instead. And sometimes a woman can be attracted to another woman instead. And sometimes you can be attracted to both but that’s a conversation for another time.” Robert processed this. “…Can men grow a baby inside them?” he whispers.
Henry smothered on a laugh. “No, only babies can grow inside women.” “You said sex makes babies.” “It can, yes.” “But if a man can’t make a baby…. why would they want to be with another man?” Henry looked pained. “It’s very hard to – oh look, you got a fish!”
There was a welcome distraction as Henry’s attention was refocused to his catch. They pulled the fish out and got it off the line. It was too small to keep, but Robert insisted Daddy take the camera out of the basket and snap a photo anyway before releasing the fish. They used the moment for a bit of refreshing up with drinks and a snack before settling back on the bank.
“Anyway…” Henry cleared his throat. “Do you want to continue the conversation?” Robert thought. He nodded. He still hadn’t gotten his answer. “What I’m trying to say is. Humans are very complicated. Although sex is what makes a baby, humans are attracted to each other for many reasons besides making babies. That’s what love is. There’s different kinds of love – like, how I love you. Or how you love the cat.” Robert spoke up. “My Sunday School Teacher is always talking about loving God.” “Yes. Love just means you care about someone a lot. And love between adults is a very very special kind of friendship. It means you have a partner who cares about you, and shares in making life decisions, and sharing expense things like buying a house. You can’t control who you fall in love with. God decides that for us.” Robert processed this too. “So I don’t know if I’ll fall in love with a man or a woman?” “Nope. Most men fall in love women though, so that’s likely to happen.” “When will I know?” “It’ll slowly happen when you’re older.” “Huh.” Robert watched a bird hop along the opposing river bank.
”Also. Sometimes Robert…the world we live in thinks it’s very very bad that men can love another man. And they say very mean things. Your classmates probably would. And so sometimes a man who likes other men, will try to love a woman because it’s just easier.”
“You didn’t love Mom?” Robert looked horrified.
Henry was waiting for that but it was still like a gut punch. A wave of grief went through him. “Dear heavens, it’s not like that. I loved your mother. Very much. She was my best friend. I miss her a lot.” “I miss her too.” Henry takes a deep breath. He sets down the pole so he can give Robert a hug. He takes out his handkerchief and blows his nose. “When she died, my heart was very very broken. And it still is. I thought I would never love again. It’s been almost five years since we lost Anne to the cancer. I was happy though that I still had you, an I was happy with it just being us. But then I met Joseph. And he started to board in our spare room. And I started to fall in love. And I said, God has plans that we often do not understand.“
“If…God wanted you to love a man, and you fell in love with mom, maybe God thought he didn’t show you what his plans were the first time. And so he had to show you again?” “Henry, that implies loving your mother was a mistake. I wouldn’t call her a mistake.” “Oh.” “It’s ok. The world is very complicated, Robert. You will understand this more when you’re older. It’s a lot to think about.” “Yeah it is a lot to think about.” Robert agreed. “It is. You’re still young. You don’t really have to think about it for a while now,” Henry said with a smile. “But… how would you feel about if Joe and I loved each other? And slept in the same room?”
Robert thought about this and watched the creek again. He shrugged. Then he lifted his head as an idea popped into it. “If Joe slept in your room, the room would be open right?” “Uh yes?” “Can I move into that room, and then we could use the other room for a brother?” Henry choked on his breathing. “Pardon?” “I want Uncle Joe’s room cause it has that cool window seat. I can put lots of toys there. Or use it as a secret hide out. And then if I had a brother, I’d have someone to play with instead of Martin next door who is a baby and smelly – Oh wait.” ”What what?” ”You said a man can’t grow a baby. Well, I guess we could adopt one, like Orphan Annie! Only not Annie. Cause she’s a girl.”
Henry burst out laughing until tears streamed down his face. Robert looked confused as none of what he said was funny. Henry laughed until his sides hurt and it took him quite a moment to recover himself. “Oh goodness. Goodness gracious.” “What’s so funny Daddy?” Robert huffed. “I just – I love you so much Robert. You’re the best son I could have hoped for.” “Really?” “Yes.” “Even though I don’t like vegetables?” “Even though. You will like those when you’re older too by the way.”
Robert gave his Daddy a look of incredulousness. “Being an adult means you like vegetables AND girls? Ugh! I want to stay a kid a forever.” Henry began to laugh again. “Let me know if you figure out how to do that.”
_________________________________________________ Captions and stories are 100% fictional.
[The fictional story below is a continuation from this.]
Jason strummed on guitar, working on stringing the chords together that Adam had taught him. He was antsy. Impatient. Adam and Daryn were running late. A text message said that Sam had been ill and threw up all over himself. Jason hoped Sam was ok. He had grown attached to the little guy; Jason had baby sat a few times and they had a swell time building Legos together.
Jason looked at his bags. A suitcase, wrapped in duct tape, and a duffel. His bulky winter coat was draped over his suitcase. 17 years, his entire life, now fit in two bags. He glanced up at the bed behind it. The bunk he’d spent the last year sleeping on was stripped to the mattress. It pleased him to know soon another lost soul would sleep there. Someone more lost than him. Cause right now, Jason felt very content in his place in the world. He was wanted.
In January, his parents had kicked him out after discovering he was gay. The shelter had been his home since he stumbled in that day, frozen to the bone. He had connected with Adam during guitar lessons that spring, and Adam and
Daryn
had invited Jason to join Thanksgiving with them. It was the first time Jason had realized he hadn’t been kicked out, but completely disowned. It had been bumpy, as it was also the first time he remembered what a home could feel like. It was an emotional time, but he left with a smile.
The shelter had felt different when he got back though. Just because he’d slept there, it didn’t mean it was home. He felt like a bother. Like he was invasive. Jason missed the family dynamic. He wanted a “home” and a “room” to call his own again, which logically didn’t make sense, because he was almost 18 and looking forward to going out in the world. Still, it’s easier to fledge when you have a nest to return to.
Jason had been absolutely dreading Christmas. Adam and
Daryn had invited him to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas with them, just as they did Thanksgiving. He was relieved by that. But as high school ended for the holiday break, Jason ran out of things to keep him busy until Christmas Eve. He sulked. He played guitar. He took long walks in the snow. Although all the volunteer-based activities were on hold for the holidays, a counselor at the shelter told him that Adam was coming by for a guitar class anyway. Jason had enjoyed that.
He was not expecting for Adam to pull him aside after the class. He was also not expecting to be asked to sit down because he wanted to talk about something. And wow, was Jason shocked that Adam had invited to Jason to come live with him and his husband Daryn
for the rest of his senior high school year. “Basically you’d come for Christmas Eve and just not leave. The basement is finished now. We have a room down there you could use,” Adam had said. Jason was just so stunned that he could only listen as Adam went on. “Daryn
and I can take care of you through your graduation. In the summer, we expect you to get a job and start contributing. You’ll also have to start community college or some sort of job training in fall, but you’re welcome to stay with us until you’re stable enough to get your own place.” And Jason could only nod and bite his lip hard. “Yes?” Adam had whispered. Jason nodded harder and then threw his arms around Adam.
He just couldn’t believe it. This random gay couple had just totally adopted him pretty much. And they already had a five year old on their hands. And
Daryn
ran his own business. They were just incredible people. Jason plucked at his guitar and pondered how he would have never had met them unless he’d been thrown out. Maybe he’d see them in the grocery store one day or something out of the corner of his eye. Maybe in a parallel universe.
Maybe he’d see his own parents at the grocery store out of the corner of his eye one day. Jason’s gaze slid over to his duffel where presents for
Daryn, Adam, and Sam were carefully wrapped in dollar store wrapping paper and then padded in his own sweater. In there was also an envelope that had come for him yesterday. It was from his own dad. Jason didn’t know if he wanted to open it. He hadn’t heard from his family in…wow, almost a year. Jason sighed. It still felt weird to not get his siblings any presents. He’d missed their birthdays. His parents’ too. His grandfather’s… a part of him yearned for things to be like how they were before. But they weren’t. And couldn’t.
And although life was going great and he was looking forward to his future, Jason knew it was going to get bumpy. This summer, a friend from high school had hooked him up with a gig working at a summer camp. But without his social security card, and the fact he was a minor, Jason had a hard time getting hired. In the end, someone at the camp took pity on him and paid him cash. But as he turned 18 and began to go to college, and paying his own taxes, it’d get messy. Jason shook his head. He didn’t want to think about that.
He wanted to think about Christmas. And huge family meals. And playing Legos with Sam. And sledding. And getting better at guitar. And finishing up high school. And maybe, getting up the courage to ask Ted out from his AP History class. Maaaaybe. That kid had to be gay. He drew dicks on everything.
The phone binged. Jason picked it up. Hey it’s Adam. Sam’s fine! We’re all changed and ready to go. On our way. Jason smiled. “They’re all coming for me. All three of them. Man, they’re amazing.” Jason decided to put the guitar back in its case. It belonged to the shelter. He yearned for one of his own. He also wanted a relationship like
Daryn
and Adam had. Would he one day have a husband of his own?
Jason didn’t know the answer to that. But he did know that when he was an adult, he would come back to the shelter to volunteer. The cycle of love must continue.
Jason gathered his bags and went downstairs to wait for his ride home. Home.
[IF YOU CANNOT SEE THE IMAGE, CLICK HERE TO SEE IT ON IMGUR.]
Daryn looked at Adam. “How long has he been gone?” Adam looked at his watch. “Fifteen min–woah woah!” He dropped his silverware and swooped in to stop their five year old from pouring the entire thing of gravy all over his plate. “There you go, Sam, just a little bit.” “Can I put gravy on yours Daddy?” “Sure, let’s do it together.” After they set it down, Adam looked at Daryn. “You should go check on him.” Daryn ate a bit of stuffing and thought. “Yeah he should be back by now.” He wiped his face with his napkin and set it down. “Be right back everyone.”
Daryn padded through the kitchen, socks making muffled footfalls on the hardwood floors. The house was old and it creaked around him, from the snow heavy on the roof to the grunting of the furnace. He looked around the house, and his concerns were beginning to rise. The lad’s shoes were still by the door though.
Daryn eventually located Jason in the basement they were currently refinishing. He heard him before he saw him, sniffling. “Hey Jason are you down here?” “Ah fuck,” he said to himself. “Yeah.” “You ok?” “Yeah I’m fine, sorry, I’ll be up in a minute.” Daryn stopped on the stairs. “You don’t sound fine. Was it the food? You barely touched anything.” “No, food’s fine. It’s fine. I’ll be up in a minute.” A pause. “Do you want to talk?” “No.” “Well is it ok if I come sit next to you for a bit.” “I guess.”
Daryn clicked his tongue. It was so hard to be 17. He stopped in the half finished bathroom to grab a box of tissues. They had put them down there cause of all the dust which kept making them sneeze. He sat down on the floor and pushed the box to Jason. "Thanks,” he muttered. Daryn nodded and bumped him with his foot. “What’s going on?” “Nothing.” “Are you homesick?” Jason pulled his knees up and rested his arms on them. He wouldn’t look at Daryn. “A little.” “Is it your first Thanksgiving not at home?” Jason sniffled again. He didn’t answer right away. “They didn’t call.” “What? I can’t hear you.” “They didn’t call,” Jason repeated a bit louder. “Ooohh.” That seemed to break the floodgates. Jason couldn’t push the tears off his face as fast as they were falling. “They haven’t called me. We do Thanksgiving every year. I always peel the apples for the pie, and they always made sure I was in the picture we take. But they haven’t called. It’s like they already forgot about me.” He began to sob. Daryn exhaled. “Shit.” He slid over until he was next to Jason and put his arm over his shoulder. “There, there. Cry as much as you need to.” “Why haven’t they?”
“Well. Jason. I don’t really know your parents. But I do know that when you bring a child into this world – or adopt, like we did to Sam – that it’s your responsibility to love your child no matter what. And to take care of them, so they turn out to be a good member of society. And your parents kicked you out for being gay and "going against the church”. And I’m sorry, that makes them shitty people. They didn’t call because they suck.“
Jason raised his head and stared at Daryn as if he had grown horns.
"Shitty people don’t kick a 16 year old out in fucking January in MAINE, and make live in a shelter while he finishes school. And shitty people don’t not care about your grades. And shitty people don’t ignore their only son on Thanksgiving. I’m sure they have nice attributes, and can be nice, but what they did? Shitty.” Jason blew his nose and hiccuped. “You know, I’ve talked to a lot of adults about this…at my school, the therapists at the shelter. And they always say ‘I’m sorry’.” Jason mimicked them in a whiny voice. “’Oh Jason, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sure they didn’t mean it. I’m sure they regret it. I’m sure they miss you.’ But you’re like the first adult who had said that they flat out suck.”
“…Should I apologize?” Daryn hesitated to ask.
“No,” Jason insisted. “Cause you’re right. They ARE shitty. It was a shitty, mean and cruel thing to do. I could have DIED being homeless in January. In Maine. And like, fuck, that means they’d rather have a dead son than a gay son. And who would want parents like that? Fuck, Sam is lucky.” And then he started crying again. Daryn pulled him into his arms and let him soak his sweater. “There, there…aww it’s alright. It’s going to be ok. Maybe one day they will look back on the photos without you in them, and regret it, and apologize. But it’ll be up to you to accept that or not. And maybe they’ll call one day. Maybe not. No matter what happens, you’re always welcome to spend the holidays with us.” “R-really?” Jason hiccuped. “Yep.” “I’m glad you guys particpiated in this match program the shelter has. I like Adam’s guitar class a lot.” “Oh don’t tell him that, it’ll go right to his head. He thinks he’s Eric Clapton.” That got Jason laughing a little. “He kind of looks like him, a bit.” “Oh definitely don’t tell him that either.” That lightened the mood, broke the spell. Daryn let Jason finish his reserve of tears, and then clean out his nose. He also waited for Jason to wash his face. As they were walking up the stairs, Jason’s stomach growled. “Was that me?” “It was.” “Fuck, I just realized I’m starving.” “You’re 17, you should be eating everything.” “I want to eat everything.” “Permission granted.” Daryn saluted. Jason smiled.
When they got back to the dining room. Adam gave them a “welcome back”. None of the 14 people there asked questions. Jason was just folded back into the conversation like he’d never left. He dug into his plate, and then took seconds.
___________________________________________ Captions are 100% fictional. Do not remove this disclaimer. Happy Thanksgiving.
“No, Liam, they’re not cool yet. You’ll burn your fingers if you touch the pan and the cookies,” Matthew said.
“They LOOK cool though.”
“Maybe, but the insides of the cookies will still be hot even if the outsides are not.”
“Why?”
“Because they’re not exposed to cooler air. Do you want a glass of chocolate milk, or do you want to burn your fingers?”
“Milk!” Liam exclaimed.
“I want one too!” his sister piped up from the living room.
“I think we can do that.”
“I want to lick the spoon!” Rose cried.
“Nuh uh! I want to lick it!”
“We can have two spoons,” Matthew said.
The backdoor opened and Matthew looked up. “There you are. Where you been?”
William shook his head. “Squirrels again. The damn dog pulled the leash right out of my hand.”
Matthew bent down to give the oversized lab a scratch. “Oh you silly boy. Me thinks he still needs more training.”
“Yeah he does. If one of the kids walked him and it happened, they could get hurt.”
“That’s true…”
“Daddy Will we’re making chocolate milk!”
“Oh are we? Well I get the spoon then!”
“Nuh huh!”
“Uh huh!”
“Daddy Matt said there’s two spoons!”
There was so much noise with the TV and the kids and the dog barking at a squirrel outside that they almost didn’t hear Will’s phone ringing.
“You make the milk, love, I’ll get this. …Oh it’s our social worker.”
Matt stared at him. “What does she want?”
Will put his finger in his ear. “Hi Sarah. How are you? …Well that’s good. They’re fine. We’re making cookies for Liam’s school party. Yeah they’re doing great. ….What? When?” There was a long pause. “…Oh dear. Oh heavens. Ok. Um. Ok. Wow.” Will could feel Matt’s gaze burning a hole in his back. “Let me talk to Matt and I’ll call you right back ok? Thank you.”
“What?” Matt hissed. Will put a finger over his mouth. “Get the kids in front of the TV, then we’ll talk.”
Matt gave his husband a look, but finished up getting the kids sorted and plopped them down in front of the TV with their milk and a snack. Will was sitting on the window seat when Matt came back into the kitchen. The dog was sitting by his side getting his ears scratched.
“Well, what is it?” Matt insisted.
“The parents of our kids had another baby.”
“…What?”
“And by baby, she’s two now. And Sarah said Steve and May were doing fine so Children’s Protective Services let them keep her.”
“Her,” Matt repeated.
“Yes. But now the baby is in the hospital because one of them methed out and pushed the baby down the stairs.”
Matt gasped and covered his mouth. “Oh my god.”
“She’s got a broken collar bone and a broken arm but they think she’ll be ok. They need an emergency foster carer as they investigate and because we adopted Liam and Rose…”
“They called us.”
The two men looked at eachother.
“Yes?” They each said at the same time.
Matt chuffed through his nose and ran his fingers through his hair. “I guess that settles that.”
“Are we ready for another toddler?” Will whispered.
“We may need to pull things out of storage…”
“And baby-proof the house.”
Matt looked out the window. “It’s good to know there may be a third. If you get that promotion in January, and we move to Raleigh, we’ll have to budget for a bigger house.”
“Oh yeah. That’s true,” Will said. “Three kids though. Woah.”
“Yeah. Crazy to think about.”
“Well, this could all be temporary…”
Matt looked at the two watching TV. “So were they.”
Will squeezed Matt’s hand. “Men plan, god laughs.”
Matt snorted. “Oh please stop quoting my grandmother’s tea towels.”
They dissolved into giggles.
“Alright, well, let’s talk to the kids about it then we can call Sarah back ok?” Will said.
Matt nodded. “But first I am stealing a cookie.”
“Oh good plan.”
Two hours later, they were at the hospital visiting their new daughter.
Jonathan laughed at a joke Wilford told him. “Well that’s quite wild, but don’t be making jokes like that in front of the boss!” “Well, that’s why I told it before I went in!” Jonathan chuckled. “You are the most entertaining man in the office, WIlford.” Wilford smirks and tips his hat. “Kind of you to say. Now, I am going into the office and I will behave.” “Oh you do that. I will be coming in soon.”
Jonathan wiped the crumbs off his lap. He had purchased breakfast from a bakery nearby, but chose to sit and eat it outside instead of at his desk. It was a beautiful spring day and everything was coming alive. He was distracted by their secretary Mary hurrying toward him at a fast shuffle.
“Goodness, Marybelle, what is the rush? Emergency typing?” She swatted at him. “No, you rascal, I have something serious to tell you.” “Well what is it?” She looked around. “Not here. When you get settled, call me into your office ok?” Jonathan looked bewildered. “Copy, darlin. I’ll make my way in.” Mary adjusted her skirts. “Thank you.” And then marched inside.
Jonathan went to his office and opened a window. He went through his planner, and then set to writing a letter. “Mary? Darlin’ could you come in here please?” He called out through the open door. The telephone rang. “One moment please.” Jonathan waited. He soon heard her heels on the wood floor. “Well what is it?” She closed the door and a smiled bloomed on her face. “I have your answer to your prayers.” Jonathan stared at her. She folded her skirt under her and sat down at the chair opposite his desk. “I’m in the family way,” she whispered.
Jonathan’s eyes went wide. “Marybelle, you aren’t–!” She noticed the open window and got up to shut it. “I am. Very much am. Doctor thinks it’s over a month now.” “Well I – congratulations?” Jonathan tilted his head. A spike of jealousy went through him but he tried to be cordial. “I want you and Samuel to have it.” Jonathan dropped his pen and gasped. “Marybelle! Did you – did you get pregnant just for-” She waved her hands in front of him. “No, no. I saw a suitor back in March. Things …well, you know. When I found out I was pregnant, I told him. He gave me a few dollars, told me to do the right thing, and vanished.” Her cheeks turned red. “What a bastard,” Jonathan murmured. “He is,” she said. She pushed a tear out of her eye. “He didn’t care about me or the baby. He would rather me die on a back alley abortion table than burden him with responsibility.” Jonathan reached out to caressed her arm. “My apologies. Being a woman isn’t easy in the city.” She nodded. “Part of me wishes I stayed in Maine, but part of me knows this is what happens to city girls who let their emotions make choices for them. Which is why I want to make some good come out of this. Please, won’t you and Samuel at least think about it?” “Mary…” “ I may be fired once i start showing, being unmarried and all, so you may only have one or two months left to make a decision.” “I won’t let that happen!” Mary smiled. “You’re sweet, Jonathan. I would have gone after you if…” Jonathan gave a crooked smile. “If you haven’t caught me and Samuel being sweet at the Christmas party last year?” “That, yes,” she chuckled girlishly. “I am glad it was you that caught us. Oh, I shouldn’t have drank so much wine…I was such a fool.” Mary swatted him. “We all drank too much. Did I ever tell you I was coming out in the garden to vomit?” Jonathan burst out laughing. “I did not! That’s not very ladylike.” “No it isn’t, but you know, city girls.” They shared a chuckle. Jonathan grew quiet. He glanced at his mostly blank letter and then spoke agian. “Mary…this is, erm, quite something, this gift you want to give us. Honestly it’s just now sinking in what you told me. I almost don’t want it be real, because the thought of having the idea taken from me is almost too painful. It’s all Samuel wants is to be a father.” Mary smiled. “The baby will grow with our hope. I know you’ll raise it well. And I’ll be nearby.” “Yes. Oh Mary…” Jonathan took his hands in her own. “Bless you. Thank you.” “Oh, it makes me so happy you agree. So very happy.” She pulled her hand out of Jonathan’s so she could wipe away from tears. Jonathan gave her his hankie. “Thank you.” “Of course. Have you seen a physician?” “Yes. That’s how I knew I was a month.” ”Oh right.” ”I have to go buy some special vitamins, but I’m going to wait until the weekend when I have to go pay my electricity bill. It’s on the other side of town and I can get the vitamins at the pharmacy there without anyone noticing.” “You are so determined. I hope this baby will be fierce and headstrong like you.” Mary swallowed. “Please don’t make me cry at work.” Jonathan chuckled. “I am so sorry. But I am so grateful. I cannot wait to tell Samuel when I come home tonight. I do wish I could phone him, but I don’t want to pull him away from work at the factory. We may need the money, it looks like.” Mary stood and smiled. “Always sensible. I want a full report on his response the next day.” “You will get it, absolutely. May I call you at home?” Mary wrote down her number. “It’s a boarding house, but just ask for me and the matron will find me.” Jonathan pocketed it. “Thank you. I will.” “Now, Mr. Greyson, do you need any other reports typed this afternoon?” Jonathan chuffed. “No, Mary that’ll be all. If anyone asks why your eyes are red, tell them I scolded you on typos.” “Oh you couldn’t scold me if I set the typewriter on fire!” “…Can you do that?” Mary left the room laughing and went back to her desk at the front. Jonathan sat in his chair for a while and then went to open the window again. He glanced out at the buds in the trees, the pretty colors erupting in the flower beds. Everything was coming alive. Oh, it would be so hard to hold in this joyous news for the whole work day. Jonathan spent a good twenty minutes thinking how to tell Samuel before reluctantly going back to work. Oh, wow, a baby of their own! How was he supposed to focus on that letter now??
_________________________________________________ Captions are fictional. Gettin’ vintage in here.
Killian shoved Tobias to the bed and undressed him impatiently, throwing clothes over his shoulders. He pounced on top of the man, straddling him and pressing his weight on top of Tobias’s smaller, wiggling form. “Woah honey you are aggressive,” Tobias managed to say between Killian assaulting his mouth with kisses. “I just want you,” Killian explained, “and you need this.” “I do not need-” Then Tobias felt Killian’s hand around his cock. He gasped and arched up his hips. “Ok maybe that feels pretty good.” Killian snorted and gathered them both in his hand. He settled between Tobias’s legs and frotted against him hungrily, enjoying the feeling of his partner hardening in his grip. He continued kissing his lover and marking him with love bites as the space between them grew warmer and wetter. “I’m going to cum,” Tobias mewled, already perspiring at the temples. “Not yet, baby,” Killian purred in his ear. “Grab me the lube out of the drawer.” “Yeah ok,” Tobias said quickly. “Just don’t stop touching my cock.” Killian smirked and swiped his thumb across the weeping slit. Tobias hissed. “Ah!” “Grab it babe.” Tobias reached over his head, pulling the nightstand drawer open and rummaging around. He tossed the bottle to Killian, and Killian noticed the lube on the lid was dry. Was when the last time he’d fucked Tobias? God, had it been three weeks? They would never make it through parenting a newborn at this rate. Killian made quick work of lubricating himself and Tobias, noting out loud how tight Tobias had become. “You like me tight?” Tobias asked. “Oh I still remember what it was like fucking your virgin ass – so tight, so sweet, you pulled me in so deep,” Killian said as slid his digits in and out of Tobias. Tobias whimpered. “I loved that night. It hurt, but you were always the best fuck I ever had.” Killian momentarily stopped what he was doing. “I loved it too. But the best? Seriously? You think so?” Tobias blinked at his partner, eyes glazed. “Yeah. The best. Cause it was you.” Killian swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’m glad you called me up again after college.” “You can thank tequila for that,” Tobias said, matter of factly.
Killian laughed and prepared to breach his partner. He parted Tobias’ legs and got between them, pushing himself in in one go. Tobias cried out, and Killian gave him more. Killian dug in his toes and slammed into Killian as hard as he could, driving his hips at an unrelenting pace, aiming to his prostate from step 1. Tobias moaned and spread his toes, the muscles in his thighs tight and taut. “Yes! Yes! Don’t stop, don’t stop Killy, don’t stop don’t you stop!”
“I won’t! I won’t!” In the back of his head, Killian knew he should be concerned about waking up Abigail, but she hadn’t made a peep on the baby monitor and decided to test his luck. A bead of sweat dripped onto Tobias’s chest. “Cum for me baby!” he demanded, stroking Tobias’s leaking cock. “Yes – yes!”
Tobias made a perfect ‘o’ with his mouth. He made not a sound but a barely audible little squeak, and white fluid pooled on his belly. They came at exactly the same time, then their bodies went limp against each-other. “Holy shit,” Tobias breathed. Killian wrapped his arms around his partner. “Mmmnn you feel so good clenching around me…I feel like I came a swimming pool.” “Damn sure felt like it too.” Tobias sighed. “Fuck that felt so good. Oh, damn, Abigail – we should really check on her.” Killian slid out of Tobias and stroked himself lazily. “I’ll do it.” “No I want to.” Killian smirked. “Honey you won’t be able to stand up. “ “Well I never,” Tobias huffed, pretending to be more indignant than he was.
Killian pulled on his boxers, ignoring his wet dick between his legs. He made a fast circle then came back to the room. Tobias was drinking a glass of water from the bathroom. “She ok?” “Sleeping on her stomach like an angel.” Tobias smiled. “Good. I wonder what upset her so much. Maybe I upset her…” “Who knows. She’s a baby. She’ll tell us if something continues to bother her.” Killian eyed a naked Tobias. Tobias glanced at him over the cup of water. “Wanna go again?” “Again,” Killian asked. “Again. You were right. I did need a fucking. And that wasn’t enough. They say you should nap when your baby does, but my boy ass needs another round. You up for it?” Killian pushed his boxers down immediately. “Get over here and get back on the bed.”
Jaime sat up on the hospital bed, groggy. He looked around, confused. No chaos. No mess. No trays and carts. Where was Laura? Where was CJ? And how did he end up in bed? Jaime swung his legs over the edge just as CJ appeared in the doorway, holding a small bundle in his arms. “Hey,” CJ said, his face lighting up. “You’re awake.” “Yeah. What happened?” “You fainted.” “Oh,” Jaime said, his ears turning red. “The doctors said that wasn’t that uncommon. I almost did too.” Jaime didn’t answer immediately and scratched the back of his neck. “Was…everything ok? With Laura and the baby?” CJ grinned. “Laura’s sleeping. She’s fine.” He walked over and sat next to Jaime. “Meet Silas James. 8 pounds, 1 ounce.” Jaime heard CJ’s voice crack. He passed the bundle to Jaime, trembling slightly with nervousness. “Here. Happy Father’s Day, Jaime.” “Oh my god,” Jaime breathed, taking their little one in their hands for the first time. “He’s so little. So tiny. So adorable. He’s totally passed out. Aw, lookit these little fingernails!” Jaime sniffled and looked up at CJ. “He’s ours?” “Yes.” “That’s just…that’s just…amazing.” They exchanged a kiss. “Hey uh CJ, wasn’t Father’s Day like four days ago?” CJ laughed. “Maybe. So Silas took his time getting here. All that’s matters is that he’s here. And we can still celebrate.” “Yes,” Jaime agreed. “That’s all that matters. I just…I can’t believe it you know? Finally getting to hold him. Nearly three years of paperwork and home visits and interviews, and then Laura shows up like a guardian angel and makes the most selfless decision on the planet. I don’t know how I’ll ever be ever to thank her. If Silas was mine, I wouldn’t be able to hand him over.” CJ put an arm around his partner. “That’s because you want a baby. Laura is 19, and would have to give up a full ride to college to raise him.” “We got lucky.” “We did.” Jaime sniffled again. “Shit, I’m crying.” CJ chuckled and pulled Jaime close, kissing him on the temple. “We got eighteen years ahead of us. Think we can do it?” Jaime nodded quickly. “I want more than that.” “Well, if we play things right, he’ll stick around and take care of us when we’re old.” Jaime raised an eyebrow. “You are too hot to get old.” “Oh come on. I’m a Dad now. Dad’s aren’t hot. They’re cool. I’m a cool Dad.” “Oh pfft. Good luck with that.” “I can play video games. I got this.” Jaime shook his head, smiling. “Sure you do. Hey if you’re ‘Dad’, am I also ‘Dad’?” CJ thought. “Not sure. You want to be Dad 2?” “Would Papa work?” “Yeah,” CJ said, kissing Jaime on the temple again. “It would. Aww look, Silas yawned. Are you awake? Can you open your eyes and see Papa for the first time? Or you can sleep. You can sleep all you want. We’ll be right here.”
“You’re safe now, boy. I’ve got you.” Seamus hiccuped and let his forehead rest on his big, strong boyfriend’s shoulder. “Why is my mother so mean to me, Jo?” he whispered. “Because she can’t ruin you too.” “…What? What do you mean?” “Your mother has always been a petty, jealous, narcissitic woman, Seamus. I know she went through some tough stuff, but instead of using that as a challenge to overcome she just let it eat her up inside. She blames everyone else for her imperfect life, although she never tried to fix it or better herself. Does that sound right?” Seamus niffled and nodded. “Yeah, it does,” he said sadly. “Everything I did growing up had to be about her in some way. ‘You want to do tennis? Do you want everyone in town to think I’m some preppy tennis mom when I’m obviously not? We’re eating Spaghetti-os here! I work so hard around here and you just want to take advantage of money I don’t have. There are things I want too, Seamus…’ blablabla…in that screechy voice too.” Jo sighed softly. “I know it was hard for you, baby. But she’s so mad she couldn’t ruin you too. That she couldn’t drag you down, beat out your spirit, defeat you. She wants you to be more miserable than she is, so she can feel better than someone. And you won’t let her. All you do is succeed and win at life.” “You mean it?” Seamus asked, looking up at his lover. “I do. You got straight As, got a scholarship to college, graduated with top honors, got a job offer right out of school at that awesome fashion company you loved… baby, you’re killing it.” “Plus I have a hot boyfriend,” Seamus joked. “That you do,” Jo replied, kissing Seamus on the forehead again.
Seamus hiccuped. “Still, despite everything, I want my mother to love me. It just hurts to think she will never love me like I want her to.” “Oh honey, don’t cry,” Jo said in a soothing voice, pushing those tears away with the pad of his thumb. “It’s ok. You don’t need it. Hell, she doesn’t deserve your love. She had the chance and she squandered it. I don’t think you should give her another chance. I wouldn’t.” Seamus sniffled and tightened his arms around Jo. “You know, I just realized, how you must feel.” “Me?” Jo responded, surprised. “Yes. You were so considerate when you were dating me, always being so proactive about winning me over. Always doing little things for me. I made you earn my love and made you wait before I gave it, but I turn around and just throw it at my mother who doesn’t even cherish it. God I’m so stupid.” “No no, honey, no,” Jo said firmly. “Familial love is different. It’s deeper. I’m grateful you have let me into your life, but we were strangers once. It’s different.” Seamus didn’t appear to have heard him. “I should be focusing on who wants my love and who cherishes it. You. You deserve it. I want to give it to you instead. Not her. But still, why do I still feel guilty at the idea of cutting my mother off?” Jo was ready with an answer. “Because you still think that if you do one thing – say something, do something, become something, she will love you. Or maybe, that something will happen to her, and she’ll change.”
Seamus exhaled softly, his shoulder’s sagging. “Yeah…I think that’s it.” “Honey, nothing you do will be good enough for her. You could become straight, cure cancer, become the President, marry an actress, win the lottery, and buy your mom a house and a car, and she will still make you feel bad, tear you down, doubt yourself, and try to make it all about her.” Seamus lifted his tear-stained face. “Oh my god, you’re right. You’re so right. I mean, I will never not be the ‘stupid faggot’ she hates that I am, so there’s no hope for the rest. I sure as hell won’t be curing cancer, and I haven’t even dreamed of giving up my awesome job to try and please her.” Jo beamed. “That’s my smart boy. And you’re following her on Facebook right? If something bad happens, you’ll hear about it from someone and we can talk about it then.” Seamus nodded. Jo pinched Seamus’s chin with his finger. “Your life is here. With me, and my love. Can I have your phone?” Seamus furrowed his brow, pulled it out of his pocket, and held it over. Jo fussed with it and handed it back. “What did you do?” “Look in your contacts.” Seamus did. Under where it used to say ‘Mom” it now said, “Janet. Do not answer.” “Janet…” Seamus said. “Just another name on the list now. Besides, if you want a mother figure, you can borrow one of mine. I have two, remember, and god they will mother you to pieces if you let them.” “…Really? They would?” “Oh yeah. By the way, why don’t we ask them if we can go visit them out in New Mexico for a weekend?” Seamus perked up. “I’d like that. I think I’m just sort of missing having a family right now.” “I understand, sweet boy. You can start with me, and mine, and one day we’ll make our family.” “Like…with kids?” Seamus asked shyly. “One day,” Jo responded. “But we have to get married first.” Seamus blushed and tucked his head against Jo’s pectoral again. “I’d like that.” Jo tried not to grin as widely as he was. “So would I. But I would to propose to you proper first. I’ll get my grandmother’s ring from Mama Sue when we go visit ok?” “Oh Jo, you are so wonderful to me,” Seamus said. “This is what love is supposed to be like, Seamus.”
Seamus started to answer when his phone rang. A dark look crossed his face when he looked at the screen. “It’s M… ..It’s Janet.” Jo didn’t say anything as Seamus studied the phone. It rang and rang. He thumbed it to mute, and stuck it in his pocket. “I don’t want to talk to Janet right now. I want to talk about this trip.”
Jo cheered. “Yah! That’s my boy.” He kissed Seamus hard and made him giggle. “You wanna go get pizza and ice cream for dinner?” “Oh hell yes. …Can we have hot sex on the sofa when we get back?” Jo gave his lover a smoldering smirk. “Seamus baby, the answer to that question will never be no.”
