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“Why do YOU get a bigger, cooler wooden sword?”
“Because I’m a bottom. I need to protect myself from lustful men,” Bobby says, swinging it around.
“But I’m the top! I’m in charge here!”
“Your sword is in your pants. That’s why you get the skinny one, cause it looks like you’re dick”
“My dick isn’t skinny! It’s bigger than yours! Da~~~dddy~~ why does he get a big sword?”

Sigh. “…We are never going to get this Christmas play together in time. You are both two old for time-outs. Bobby, stop teasing Max. Max, stop whining. You get the wooden sword in the next act.”
“Yes Daddy,” they said simultaneously.

“Alright, now let’s try this again from the top. And action! Good.. Good. Move over there good. Wait – Max stop trying to take the sword away from him! Arg, cut!”

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Text is fictional. Edit – just noticed the other guy actually does have a sword so I had to rewrite it…

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“Um … um Robert, your boy is… um, he’s…oh dear. Hey that’s my knee – … aaand he’s asleep. Robert! Do something.”
He gave a grin and shook his shaggy head. “Sorry about that. Bobby is up past his bed time. He likes to pretend he can stay up late with the adults but he always gets sleepy around this time. Looks like he’s taken a liking to you.”
“You’re not supposed to push your other kinks on other people, Robert,” I reminded him. 

He held up his hands in surrender. “I know, know, sorry, but it’s not like he needs to be changed or anything or is drooling on you. He’s just…sleeping. Adorably. I’ll give him a spanking tomorrow for not asking permission, but 30 more minutes? Please? Then I’ll take him home”
I gazed down at Bobby dozing peacefully on my lap. Well, he was kind of cute and he was making my leg warm. I sighed. “Fine, just… if he drools or wets himself, the game is over.”

I grunted and settled in. Fifteen minutes later, I realized I was making slow, soothing circles across Bobby’s back with my palm without even meaning to do so. I looked up at Robert to see if he’d noticed. He had.

“You can’t resist the cute. You can try, but you won’t be able to. And trust me, Bobby uses that to try and get away with everything.”

“I’m not going to get into this fetish of yours,” I insisted.
“I know, I know, not your thing. But nothing wrong with acknowledging he’s cute.”
I just grunted at him again. 

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Post is fictional. Source.