how is this man realÂ
Can this man be real if our eyes aren’t real?
Tag: lolwut
Oops
Firefox says I have 137 tabs open. Looking over them all, it appears that most of them are Tumbr links. ._.;
…I might have an obsession with source material.
Got in a fight with the neighbor’s dog. Nothing serious but he likes the attention!
I was doing various Tumblr searches involving ‘boys fighting’ and this adorable thing came up. It’s technically cock, so I’m reblogging it. PSA time – keep your cocks out of the when having fights with pups. You don’t want them to get injured now, cause then your mom has to towel it and scold you for letting it get out.
God, this rooster is adorable. It looks so smug.
o_o
>>
There is an alpha top around somewhere nearby. I can sense it. He’s close. …Don’t see anyone though.
Sigh.
I wish someone would come through that door and fuck me. Is it only 11:43 am?
Sigh.
I need to be fucked so badly right now.
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Text is fictional…and somewhat satirical.
What the…
Someone just submitted a color drawing of a woman getting fucked up the ass by a guy. Clearly, that person does not read my Tumblr. There hasn’t been a single vagina on this blog and it will not start now.
what are cock rings for? is that how gays get engaged?
“It’s how subs get engaged to their Masters – you see, the ‘ring’ is a miniature version of a collar and symbolizes an official bond. There’s two kinds of marriage: the legal marriage certificate, and a religious ceremony. In BDSM, there is no official state or country recognized certificate of a bond between a Master and a submissive. Not all Masters have a romantic relationship with their boys, but those that plan to get married need a special engagement ring to signify their relationship is different than a normal relationship. A ring that goes around the cock signifies a special kind of marriage, a gift of the flesh and as well as the heart. And-”
“BOY, who are you talking to?”
“The – the internet Sir.”
“Are you making stuff up again?”
“No Sir. It’s real in my perfect reality, where subs and Doms can live their relationships out and proud and free. Where I can walk down the street in my collar and everyone will know that I am kept.”
“Love, as sweet as that is, you won’t ever be able to wear your cock ring out in public without getting arrested.”
His sub pouted. “I know, but it’s so pretty. I want everyone to know that I’m engaged to the perfect Master.”
His Master smiled. “You are loved. Now come on now, let’s not bother the nice people on Tumblr. Come to the dungeon, I want to play with you.”
“oooo Yes sir. Coming Sir.”
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Text is fictional. This is satire.
Male porn stars and models read ‘mean tweets’ – via Men.com. This is based off the Jimmy Fallon Show skit from Jimmy Kimmel Live, based on the original skit in where celebrities read ‘mean tweets’.
This is hilarious, I am thrilled that this exists.
Derp
I made soup tonight and about twenty minutes in, I was stirring it and pulled out a big blue rubber band. How does that even happen?? I am not an intelligent person. Man – if I were a houseboy, can you imagine the spanking I would have gotten for that?
“Excuse me, do you know where I can find an alpha male to use my body hard and fuck me dry as he pleases? My GPS isn’t connecting for some reason, I think I’m outside my data plan.”
“Oh, you went a couple blocks too far. If you just go up to Classen Boulevard and turn left, about two streets down on the corner there’s a gay bar. There’s a muscular guy that hangs out around down there who puts faggots in there place, if that’s what you want.”
“Ah fantastic, that’s what I need. So I go out to Classen this way?”
“Yeah that way, and make a left.”
“Thanks, man, appreciate it!”
“No problem, boy, hope you get the fucking you need.”
“No doubt about it! God, the hospitality in this city is amazing…”
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Text is fictional. Source unknown.
Post coming soon…
I got a really nice post coming for you guys, but you see, there is a mosquito hawk in my kitchen. You want to know a little fact about me? Out of all the bugs in the world, I’m terrified of mosquito hawks (aka crane flies). I don’t know why. Spiders, roaches, crickets, no prob. Mosquito hawks? Hell to the fuck no. So there’s one in my kitchen and I hit it and it’s alive somewhere and I can’t fucking do shit until it’s dead. I look mighty fierce waving a graphic novel around and shrieking like a 3 year old. Anyone have a cat I can borrow? They’re supposedly good at this.