No but they probably have cake.
Tag: gay porn
I can’t even.
“Hey Marcos?”
“Yeah babe?”
“Your pecs are feeling really firm. You been working them out?”
“Oh you can tell?”
“Totally.”
“Yeah I’ve been at the gym at work more. Wanna look good for you.”
“Aww that’s sweet.”
Marcos picks up Todd’s hand and gives it a kiss.
“Hey Todd?”
Todd takes a sip of his coffee. “Yeah honey?”
“I want a baby.”
Todd spits out his coffee. “Ah jeez! I – I’m sorry, I could have sworn you said you wanted a baby?”
“Oh goodness! Careful there. Well that’s what I said but like. It doesn’t have to BE a baby. I could be like… you know, a five year old. Someone who needs parents.”
“Parents,” Todd repeats, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Parents. You said you were flexible on kids. And it just hit me. I want kids. I think it’s Christmas. Raising a little fledgling out into the world…”
Todd raises an eyebrow. “I’m not fucking you enough.”
Marcos laughs and swats his husband. “You fuck me more than enough. I love how much you fuck me.”
“That I like to hear.”
“You don’t want to hear I want a kid?”
“I …well,” Todd pauses to take a sip. “I need some time to think. Look over things. Vacation time. Finances.”
“You know it takes like a year to become foster or adoption parents right?”
“I know,” Todd replies. “But…I need to think ok babe?”
“Yeah, yeah of course. But you would be an awesome dad.”
“You think so Marcos?”
“Yeah. I’d be the silly Dad who is playing pranks and trolling the shit out of the kid, and you’d be the practical one who teaches them good character-building lessons and decides their allowance.”
Todd has a hearty laugh at that. “Jeez. You have thought this through.”
“Nah. Just came to me. But really. You’d be a good Dad.”
Todd smiles into his coffee. “I’ll think about it.”
“Good.”
“Hey Todd?”
“Yeah Marcos?”
“There’s uh, coffee on your shirt from when you spit it out earlier.”
“What?” Todd looks down. “Ah, jeez.”
_________________________________________________
Captions are fictional. Please imagine every ‘jeez’ in that upper Minnesota accent.
Answer A: Watch gay porn about teacher/student sex or bad tutor scenarios. You can’t lose there.
-or-
Answer B: Realize your masturbation habit is starting to impede your education, and go find a strong-willed keyholder to lock up your cock until school is over for the semester. Those orgasms he allows you will feel amazing because you’ve earned them through hard-work and good grades.
That’s the real difficult choice there, boys.
Male porn stars and models read ‘mean tweets’ – via Men.com. This is based off the Jimmy Fallon Show skit from Jimmy Kimmel Live, based on the original skit in where celebrities read ‘mean tweets’.
This is hilarious, I am thrilled that this exists.