“Uncle Randy? Why are you in my bathtub? Shit. Did Aunt Margy kick you out again?”
“Yeah. Your dad said I can crash here until she takes me back.”
“Fuck. What happened this time?”
“I dunno. She thinks I drink too much.”
“Shit, man. Wait a minute … are you drinking my beer?”
“Yeah, sorry. Your dad said to help myself. I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s fine. Forget about it. You bunking in my room or the living room couch?”
“Was hoping your room. I’ve got a 5-day load in these balls.”
“OK. Finish your bath. I’ll be ass up on the bed, the way you like me.”
“Thanks, boy. You’re a good nephew.”
“Uncle Randy? I think you get Aunt Margy to kick you out on purpose just so you can crash here, drink beer, and fuck my ass.”
“Yeah, no shit. Now grab me another beer and get your ass on that bed for me, faggot.”
Stories are fiction and intended for readers 18 and up. All characters are assumed to be legal, consenting adults.
Of course, after all that booze, Uncle Randy couldn’t even get his cock up. Which was a shame cause it was a hell of piece, a thick long thing that any horny college student would want to ride. So you stood there, naked and lithe and gorgeous, while Uncle Randy ogled you in horrendous frustration.
You sat in a chair across from him. “Well, I guess it’s time we had the talk. Listen, Uncle Randy, you’re an alcoholic. You’re family, but barging into my apartment and drinking my beer? Not cool dude. You wanna fuck my little faggot ass or whatever, yeah, fine. Like duh, of course I want steady dick. But come on, dude you need to get your shit together. Aunt Margy don’t deserve having another son to look after. You’re supposed to be an adult.”
Uncle Randy’s face grew red. “How dare you talk to me like that you little shit! You’re 22, you don’t know anything.”
“Says the man I found drinking in a my college apartment’s bathtub and has a sad non-existent boner.”
Uncle Randy looked apoplectic. “Why you piece of -!” He tried to get up, but it was hard when you’re that drunk, and at first swing he over balanced. You had to hold him up to prevent him from falling over.
“Oof! God you’re heavy! Sit on the bed before you fall on top of me.”
Uncle Randy grabbed your ass and planted a sloppy kiss on your cheek. “Come on make out with me.”
“Uncle Randy sit the fuck down.” You shove him back on the bed and sighed. “Now you stay there, and you sleep this off. Tomorrow you start getting sober.” You wagged your finger at him one more time. Then you shut the door and left him in there like a petulant child. So weird to have to treat your Uncle that way, but fuck this had to stop.
The next morning, you came back from class and he was nursing a hang-over a bowl of cereal and Gatorade. He was wearing boxers.
“Hey,” Uncle Randy said as you walked in.
“Nice of you to get up today.”
Uncle Randy flipped you off. “Did you have class? Or were you off fucking some hot rugby jock?”
“I let him fuck me on the weekend, and it’s Saturday, so I had class. What are you still doing here? Usually you slink off back to Aunt Margy’s by now.”
Uncle Randy sighed. “Yeah. She texted me and told me not to come back tonight. She needs to ‘think’.” He scoffed. “Whatever that means. But I think …maybe you were right, a little bit. I should stop drinking less. I mean, if my dick isn’t even working, that’s an emergency.”
“I was hoping you’d be a little more concerned that you drove here last night, but if we can get to the same result through your cock that’s fine by me.” You grabbed a bowl and poured yourself some cereal.
Uncle Randy winced. “Yeah. I did drive here. And I still want a beer.”
“Is your cock working this morning?”
“It should. Why? You cravin it?”
You rolled your eyes. “Cause I’ll make you a deal. You can keep fucking my ass, but you need to go to rehab. In or out patient, I don’t care. You make an appointment, you get to fuck me. You go to your appointments, you fuck me more. But you need to get to the bottom of your drinking – and I’m not the bottom.” You pointed the spoon at him.
Uncle Randy considered you across the table. “I hate the idea of needing rehab but….I do like the idea of fucking my way to drinking less.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” You pointed to his phone. “Make some calls. I’m gonna go shower and review my notes. You have an hour to do that and come find me, and then I’m jerking off, cause these balls are blue after your bullshit last night.” With that, you set your bowl in the sink and walked into the other room, leaving Uncle Randy stunned.
For a while, Uncle Randy was quiet, and then you heard him making calls. You went over your notes.
An hour later, Uncle Randy wandered in your room with his phone. He looked like a little child who had tried to tape back a vase he broke.
“What’s up?” You asked. You weren’t wearing underwear under your basketball shorts, and the way you were sitting with your thighs open made it super obvious. Uncle Randy definitely noticed. “Uh.” He glanced up at you and handed you his phone. “Check that out.”
You took it and looked at the screen. It was an e-mail confirming his appointment at an outpatient clinic for 5:30 pm.
You beamed at him. “I’m very impressed with you.”
Uncle Randy blushed. “Thanks,” he muttered. “My boss gave me some days off. He’s a nice guy.”
“I’m very proud of you.”
Uncle Randy sighed. “I want a beer.”
“You want a beer or my ass?”
He looked annoyed this was his choice. “Your ass. I do believe by our verbal contract, I am owed it. Get on the bed ass up, the way I like it.”
You licked your lower lip. “Yes, Sir. You earned it.”
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Captions are fictional. Not usually one for incest fic but…here we are.
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