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“Brandon, listen. I appreciate that you want to help, but as someone who loves you I need to tell you that you suck at this. It’s not your fault. Just how you were made,” Calvin said.
Brandon sighed. “I do suck at this.”
“Yep. And I won’t let you hurt your thumb again. So what I want you to do, is go sit over there, drink a La Croix, and look really hot. Me and Riley will bring the boat in. Ok?”
Brandon nodded. “I understand. If it helps bring the boat in safely, I will fulfill my role to the best of my ability using my …talents. I will work hard to drink La Croix.”
“Yes, Brandon. That is good. I know you will exceed expectations.” Calvin gave him a kiss and a pat on the hip and sent him to sit down.
Riley looked at Calvin and mouthed “thank god”. Brandon was very pretty, but Riley was getting concerned they were going to sink out here.

Captions are fictional.


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