Note: This caption is in first person but it’s fictional.

A reporter interviewed me for their LBGT section of their newspaper the other day…and they asked me: what would you tell someone today who is coming out of the closet? What did you want to to know then? I told them: Look, kids these days tend to overthink things. Could I date a guy? Marry a guy? Have sex with a guy? And then they start thinking about sex and their brains short out. Seriously, it’s too much for people to think about when they are just coming out. They should focus on the simple things first. Like, kissing. Kissing guys is awesome. I’m dating this guy, and when we’re done surfing, we’ll sit on his board in the sea and kiss. He tastes delicious, and it helps create intimacy. It’s one of my favorite things to do together. There’s a lot of pressure to go all the way in our society, but don’t under-estimate how lovely it is just to be in someone’s company like that.

I was astonished when the newspaper actually printed it. I was super embarrassed when my boyfriend cut out the article, folded it, and tucked it in his wallet.

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Captions are fictional.