Posts I guess

I pause when the photo shows up on my Facebook feed. It’s public, but addressed to me: ‘We’re having a great time, Paul! I’m so happy, thank you!!!“

I should be jealous. Green with it. They’re a perfect, handsome gay couple. William has an attractive rectangular face, straight white teeth, and a jaw you could chisel coal with. He’s got a thick neck and 45 degree deltoids under unmarred flesh. His boyfriend Raul is equally damn attractive, even with his hook nose that gives him character. Raul’s kissing William on the cheek. William’s face is flush with contentment. Behind them, the sea off the coast of Brazil stretches into infinity, buffeted by towering mountains. It’s an over-cast day, which leaves no strong shadows in the photograph.

They’re totally, utterly perfect. I am single, he is taken – completely, 100% taken. I should be jealous, but I’m not. I’m beyond happy. This time two years ago, William was headed toward a coffin – he left an abusive relationship, and walked right into the arms of crystal meth. Months of drugs, booze, and anonymous sex caught him up with him; his HIV positive status was detected in the hospital after he was found passed out on a grocery store floor. I was his counselor, helping him emerge out of a toxic situation into a healthy one. He was suicidal, near starving, not managing his positive status.

I was sure I was going to lose him. Raul gave him something to work for. Raul ran the coffee shop next door to the recovery meeting place. He was working on an MBA, clean and ambitious. He didn’t mind William’s positive status, but Raul would not court a man ragged and riddled from crystal meth. I used Raul as an incentive for William to keep going, even going so far as asking Raul to write him notes of encouragement on paper napkins. William kept every one.

I could barely see the old William in the new one. He jokingly called himself Will 2.0, and I understood why. He had been reborn. William was enrolled in school for fall, and soon they would move across town so Raul could start a new job. Before they began their life together, they took a trip to Brazil – to celebrate life, to celebrate eachother. I was just so happy for them, I began to cry at my keyboard.

I commented: "Thank yourself too. You created your own happiness. You fought so hard, harder than any patient I have ever had. It’s wonderful to see you live.”

Text is fictional. Source unknown.


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