I exhale in mourning at the destroyed bed scene, still warm but no longer habitable. This is what happens when you adopt a Great Dane pup and don’t get up early enough. They get bored and bring you their favorite toy to play, but when you don’t wake up they snuggle up with you and of course doze off. In their desperate need to cuddle, you end up pushed out onto the floor. Awakening to the sensation of falling out of bed and hitting the floor with a smack was a rude experience, but I just cannot be furious at my big troublemaker. I know, I should drag him out and scold him with a swat but instead I want to rub his bel  – wait, where the hell did his collar go? Did I not put it back on after the bath last night? Christ, he was filthy after playing rugby at that meet-up.

A yawn escapes my mouth. I will not let my pup run the house. Take up the whole mattress, will you now? I crawl back into my bed and push him onto his back, then splay out on top of him, ignoring the jut of his sternum and pelvic bones. I use his shoulder as a pillow and pull the comforter up to my neck. He whines and squirms at my mass and we have a bit of a tussle. Eventually, we end up spooning side by side, my arms wrapped around his chest. He pushes his butt up against my crotch and then stills in rest again. I throw a leg over his thigh and grind back. Great, now I’m half horny and half asleep. His ass is going to take the full brunt of the punishment for this when I wake up later. I ghost my fingers over his abs as I too drift back into slumber.