Fuck me. How did things go this far? How did I allow myself to stray so far off the path? I was happy dating and getting engaged to Sarah…I mean, I thought I loved her. We were compatible together. She’s type-A, dominant, a leader. I’m more easy-going. Our sex life was minimal but that was fine. We are best friends. When she said her brother had just moved back to town, I thought it’d be nice to meet another member of the Donner family. When we all had dinner together, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. I barely paid attention to Sarah. I was so naive.

I don’t know when our guy hang-outs turned into dates. I don’t know how many beers we had that night before we fumbled around. I certainly have no idea why I came back to him the next day. Maybe because he makes my sex drive sing like no one else has. He had these ideas about sex. Really kinky ideas. I never knew stuff like that existed but they turned me on more than anything I’d ever done with Sarah. It frightened me, but didn’t frighten me away. He put me in chastity for two days. It was only supposed to be two days, but then he extended it to a week. Then two weeks at my asking.

Sarah’s wondering why I change in the bathroom now, why we don’t shower together, why I wear looser pants. She asked if her “perverted” brother had done something to me. I said no, he hadn’t, but that was a lie. Her brother opened my eyes to something I never knew I needed. The control, the surrender, the constant carnal urge to hump something but not being able to get hard… it’s amazing. It heightened my senses and took the grey out of the world and added texture. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was actually in tune with my body and feeling like a sexual being is divine in its own odd way. 

She keeps talking about the wedding. She wants to put the deposit down on the venue this afternoon. Fuck. How do I tell Sarah I don’t want to get married anymore? How do I tell her I’ve been seduced by her brother? That I’m happier with him in this freak relationship than with her in a normal one? That I want to live with him in his small cottage than in this super fancy condo high rise? It’s not helping that I’m trying to sort this out with my cock throbbing, eager to get hard and spill. I need to talk to her brother. He’ll know what to do; he always does.