Dear Abby, If you put a couple pieces of candy corn up a boy’s ass and left em there, do you think they’d dissolve? Would it make a rimming taste better? Google does not the answer. Sincerely, Perplexed on the West Coast.

bookofbaitnate-deactivated20181:

“Now, that brain you gave me. Was it Hans Delbruck’s?”

“Abby Something. Abby Normal. I’m almost certain that is the name.”

Oh boy. You’re asking the wrong Abby, lol. I Candy Corn and Rimjobs, two things I’m not fond of! D:

But since you asked: The large intestine does contain bacteria cultures that break down food. However, since you’re inserting the candy corn in through the (food-wise) exit door, they’re gonna take a long, long time to dissolve, because you’re bypassing the stomach and small intestines, where the majority of food breakdown occurs; the large intestine is like the “cleanup crew” that finishes the job and gets rid of the waste.

I’m not sure if candy corn melts at body temperature. Anyone know? Because if it does, then you might be in luck that way.

Haha you actually responded! What a concise answer too for someone on Nyquil, and I hope to hell you don’t have weird dreams because of this. Knowing Tumblr, there has to be someone somewhere with a candy corn ass fetish. *In a Hank Hill voice* I just don’t wanna know who that is.