ultraboyhunter:

Ah, an old favorite. The Missionary Position.

The years between 13-19 are what we call the Wandering Years. This is when the temptations of consumerism, flesh, sin, and apostasy lure young men away from the Church and off the path to salvation. The Church fights hard against this to the point where they encouraged the young lads who grew up preaching the Mormon word in pairs together to betray the other at any sign of straying from the flock. Guilt, shame, and shunning was cruelest the for boys growing into fine young homosexuals. It wasn’t even their fault to be born that way, but yet they had to understood why God punished them with such a prefernce.  

Joseph didn’t believe God would punish his lambs as a reward for years of preaching his name and reading his Good Book. He believed that there was great potential in those young homosexuals who so badly want to feel loved by God, to believe He had a plan for them. They want to volunteer, collect cans for food drives, build orphanages, and preach the word to those who will listen. It didn’t seem right to dispel them from the Church.

So, Joseph pitched a plan to the Elders. He said to send to him every young man with homosexual tenancies for “re-education”. Oh sure, he taught them to worship on their knees (while sucking cock) and self purification (through dutiful masturbation) and maintaining the body as a temple (by teaching them how to prevent STDs). He taught them everything about how to worship cock and how to have proper sex under God’s watchful eye. Most importantly, they learned how to hide their sexuality until it was safe.

It wasn’t exactly what Joseph wanted, but providing them with a stable outlet for their pent up sexual energy and swollen balls prevented them being caught, abandoned, or kicked out the house traumatically. Plus, he had an endless supply of fresh gorgeous faces of men on the cusp of adult hood and college years.

Yup, Joseph was sure doing the Lord’s work. “Oh God, oh God, I’m cumming!” absolutely counted. David said during an orgasm at one of these sessions, he actually saw Jesus. Can’t argue with results like that.