“Yes, I’m masturbating. If you were considerate enough to knock before you barged in here bitching about your girl problems, I would have told you I was masturbating and to fuck off. So, fuck off unless you plan on helping.” He watches his roommate Jack screw up his face, then slam the door. He sighs and goes back to jerking off to the fantasy of Jack naked on a lounge chair. Why was his roommate so hot and so painfully straight? It made him cranky.
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Text is fictional. This is Jamie Dornan for Interview Magazine.