2 weeks 2 days and counting..1 week 5 days and counting…
When Sir travels it’s tough. He isn’t just heading to another town he is continents or countries away. This time is different this time he left me wearing his collar and with my cock locked away. Technology means we are in contact but it doesn’t change the distance and the lack of physical contact.
Work can’t fill the space, gym is only a minor distraction its like part of me is in a holding pattern.
Sometimes I wonder if Masters’ understand the level of disconnect subs and slaves feel?
This slave is lucky because Master knows. When he travels he leaves me tasks to complete take care of his boots, sort out the play equipment, a schedule for gym, working naked and collard.
None of it is big stuff but it helps me keep my head on straight it reminds me of his care.
The tasks help but they cant get me over the building sexual need. A few days are easy, week not so much, 2 weeks and I’m crawling the walls. This time I’m locked even if I wanted to and he had given permission I cant cum. It has created a roller coaster of emotions.
Some days its a slow burn, others a burning ache, now I drip when he sends a message. My cock throbs and my cunt twitches at even the simplest sexual thought. He knows and winds me up even more when we chat online. What is funny when he is in town becomes torture when he is away. He talks about what he will do when he gets back, he lets me tell him about the pictures in my head.
The truth is I could go online and hook up take care of the physical need. I could but I won’t.
Once the choice was made I knew control of my sexual expression was no longer mine. The choice was made freely and with full understanding of the reality his career imposed. Being locked added to his control.
A consequence of the choice is that for now I suffer. Master can get sexual release knowing I can’t, he can experience his power and control over the miles.
This reality is far harder than I ever imagined. First he allows me to re-engage my deepest sexual needs, then he teaches me how they can be met in service to him, after what seems an age he collared me then just when I have settled he ups and goes for a month.
He said I would “learn my place” its hard to know that you are not the first priority. It goes against the messages that our culture sends us. He said he would become the center of my sexual life and he has.
Submission is not for sissies, its hard work every day. He is the single most important relationship in my life, he gets to set the rules, I mold my needs to his.
None of this changes when he travels his control might be remote but it is as concrete and complete as if he was sitting in front of me as I’m writing.
For now I will deal with crashing hormones and emotional swings. I will look after my tasks and communicate when we can. I will spend my night imagining what he is doing and dream of how this slave will show it’s devotion when he gets back.
Because he is Master and I am slave.
The slave learns that the night of relief that will follow when his Master returns will be worth all the waiting. His Master will use his body and obtain pleasure from his slave, and in return the slave will benefit from his Master’s happiness to his obedience.