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He may be dumb as a bag of hammers, but he’s the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen. Where on earth did Sir Alastair find him? His eyes are so blue I almost expected them to be reflective. God, I can’t keep my eyes off his penis… it’s just…it’s beautiful. It’s liked he just walked out of a painting, or a sculpture come to life or, some-. “What? My tea? What about – oh fuck, that’s hot!”

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